Mean 

Mean 

Fridays are usually my kids favorite days. No homework means straight up fun all afternoon. After the first full week of school I thought my kids would be stoked that Friday afternoon had finally arrived.
All seemed good in the car. Of course my momdar (mom + radar) should have gone off when my daughter asked, “Do you like my outfit?” five minutes into our car ride home.

By the time we arrived home and kids piled out of the car, tears were streaming down her face. “What happened?” I asked; still not putting two and two together.

After a long hug and a few sobs she tells me that a girl said to her, “What are you wearing? Seriously, if you had just changed the bottom of that outfit maybe it would have been okay.” 

Fury. White-hot anger. Pain. Hurt. All this washes over me for her. As that simmers to a calm, I try to clean away this comment that will forever leave a stain. Nothing I say can completely erode the hurt from her heart. I know from experience. Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” was a full-fledged dreamer and a stone cold liar.

We talk about responses for next time because apparently this girl thinks everyone needs to hear her opinion no matter what it is. My girl is finally calm and she decides to change her clothes. And even though we move past that hurtful moment, it sits with me still when my eyes pop open at 6 AM Saturday morning.

Kids say hurtful things. Adults say hurtful things. 

I feel that I am doing my part for humanity to teach my children that if something isn’t helpful, kind, or necessary that maybe that little piece of information is better left unsaid. We talk about the Golden Rule at least 10 times a day. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you – or in our speak – treat others how you want to be treated.

But…will mean ever never stop?

Hurt people; hurt people. People who feel low and little feel the path to rise up is through stealing someone else’s power. 

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” This quote is embroidered into my soul. 

Children learn to speak by listening to those around them. I hear the words I say spill from my children’s lips.

I have heard people say that parents cannot be blamed for how their children behave. I have heard moms excuse away mean behavior with “kid will be kids”.

If we don’t teach them, if we don’t take responsibility for who they become then who will? What will ever change?

I know what occurred Friday isn’t the first or last time that something like this will happen. Heck, I am an adult and I still face these challenges and comments from other adults! What hurts my heart more deeply is that this happens to all of us. That our world still has people in it that find excuses for hate – they hide behind religion, race, history or whatever excuse they can find to eradicate the simple fact that each of us alone is responsible for what we bring to the table. It comes down to the individual and if you can hurl a hate-filled slur at another human it has nothing to do with anything but your own bad behavior. There is no excuse you can hide behind. Your poor choices and actions stand alone. No circumstance, no religion, no difference, nothing defends that action. You hurt another human. That is all. 

We need to teach our children that simple fact. We are the same. Despite our exterior and cultural differences, we are the same. We all have a heart. We all want love. We all need the human basics – water, food, etc. Treat one another with respect. Do not hurt another person. It should just be that simple. 

Until next time,

Michelle

What holds you back?

“What do you think it is that holds us back from moving forward towards what we know in our hearts is the right way to go? – The Barista

A follower of The Barista (a.k.a. My Mornin’ Coffee) I saw this question and it really got me thinking: What is it that holds us back?

FEAR. Big, old, crippling fear.

Click here for original source
Click here for original source

Fear causes us to conform to things we don’t believe just so that we can fit in and not be alone.

Fear causes us to run when we should stay.

Fear causes us to give up when if had held on a second longer it would have made all the difference in the world.

Fear makes us hide the truth.

Fear can keep us from going through the dark. If we go through the dark we will always find light again.

Fear can cause us to choose poorly.

Fear can keep us from being happy.

Click here for original source.
Click here for original source.

Wouldn’t it be fabulous if we all just took a step forward in the right direction – if we all chose to move in the right direction at the same time?

What a crazy, beautiful world that would be.

If I wasn’t afraid of the stigma attached to being a medium/clairvoyant/whatever-you-want-to-call-it that is probably what I would do with my life. I am  certain I was destined to help people who have lost loved ones deal with that grief. I am pretty sure God made me extra feely for that very reason. I believe that is my calling.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Thought provoking questions part 1

Recently in an effort to find blogspiration (blog inspiration – if you hadn’t noticed I love to make up words) I can across a blog that had taken the time to ask and then answer some thought-provoking questions. So from time to time I will ask and answer some of these questions myself. It fits into my quest to be my best self and that this blog is a reflection of that journey.

Today’s question is: If a doctor gave you five years to live, what would you try to accomplish?

I guess if I had to choose another thing I would want to do with my life in a short time span it would be to spend my career and my time helping or teaching others. Teaching is like a second home. I absolutely loved teaching and if money wasn’t necessary to my family’s lives and my kids were all in school – that is what I would do forever, until they forced me into retirement.

Teach
Teach

I know that this question is asking what would you do that wouldn’t want left undone, and mostly I try to live my life as if tomorrow isn’t coming – the only thing that gets in the way of that is my job and to me that is a necessity to provide for my family – so even that I do to the best of my ability in a way that I am trying to accomplish something that helps others.

Travel might be the only thing I would want to do. Europe is a place I have always wanted to visit and the Southern United States.

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Greece
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Ireland
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London
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Spain
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Nashville
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Georgia

Definitely make sure that I leave written and recorded messages for my loved ones – I wish I could see or hear the words of my grandparents and even great grandparents quite often so I would want to leave that behind just in case someone still living would want that.

Last but not least, I would definitely make more time for my kids and spouse. Taking time for them is something I need to do more now of anyway and I would definitely let the unimportant fall to the wayside completely.

What would you do if you were given an expiration date?

-M