Ring it out, baby! Last lessons of 2015

Ring it out, baby! Last lessons of 2015

38. Yep in 12 days and roughly 5 hours I will be 38. My odd years (When my age is odd, not when I am odd. See I know what you are thinking.) have somehow always been my best. However, 2015 took its toll on me personally. I am not sure how you feel about 2015; I hope it was good to you, but most people I run into had a heck of a year even on a small scale. Don’t get me wrong I am a glass half full person, and my family and I are truly blessed, but this year had hiccup after hiccup. I am grateful for the hiccups for sure and I focused on the positives; that is where my lessons are coming from, but if you noticed I wrote a lot less this year. The reason for that was every time I sat down to write I wanted to vent about how much things stunk or how bad I felt this year about well; everything. Don’t worry I am not going to do that now, but what I am hoping for, for each and every one of us is a wonderful 2016.

Here are my lessons to close out 2015…

1.Get off the sidelines.

IMG_3564 (1)

At my daughter’s 9th birthday I noticed that a lot of the girls started out shy and sat on the sidelines. We had it at one of those make over places, but they also have a stage and microphones. Once my daughter was finished with her make over she threw on a boa and got right up on that stage and sang her little heart out. Some of the other girls followed her lead; those girls had a blast at the party. What she taught me is that you need to jump right in with both feet and live. There is no living done on the sidelines; nope. You have to go for it. So in 2016 I am all in baby…are you with me? Except for sky diving you can go do that yourself because seriously what sane person jumps out of a perfectly good airplane?!

2. Great people do things before they are ready.

IMG_3560 (1)

I think Amy Poehler and I would be the best of friends. Seriously if you know Amy you should have her call me; we would be BFFAEs (Best Friends Forever and Ever)! Seriously, I am not in the least bit kidding; if you know her call her I totally want to meet her.

Any way after reading Yes Please (yes you should take the time and read it for 2016 if you haven’t) and binge watching Parks and Recreation in my spare time I think she is my own personal guru. Two things I have learned from her and Ron Swanson are:

  • Great people do things before they are ready – seriously you can’t plan out the future. Life is bumpy and unexpected crap jumps out at you every single second (not really, but you get what I mean) and you just have to go after your dreams. If you don’t start now then when?
  • Also my personal favorite, “don’t half ass two things; whole ass one thing.” That is my favorite line from Parks and Recreation to date. There is even a mug and if you don’t know what to get me for my birthday get me that – don’t worry about duplicates either if I had a whole stinking set of those I would literally be the richest person in the world and Amy Poehler would be super impressed when I got them to pour our Vodka and Cranberry Cocktails into when she came over.  You thought they were for coffee didn’t you…so silly mugs can be used for everything. A good friend told me just about a whole bottle of wine fits into one of the travel Starbucks mugs in case you need to know that for your next Trick-or-treating excursion. Just saying. Plus they would totally go with my Duck Dynasty bobbleheads.

il_570xn-868743416_rhcw

3. Even if things seem sucky they are totally worth it.

IMG_3559 (1)So our Newport Beach Thanksgiving Vacation was a bit crazy. For starters we parked our car with the valet at dinner on one of the first nights there and they lost our keys. Then within a day the norovirus (more affectionately named Kim-O-Rea after patient zero) ran through 19 of the 23 of us. But despite the lost keys and vomit we had a pretty good time. We took bike rides, played on the beach, spent time playing games, had Thanksgiving dinner on the beach, saw a movie and went bowling. And the cousin time with the kids was priceless. So even though we may have stayed in the worst rental ever (on the inside – it was filthy) the time we spent together and the memories we made were totally worth it. Plus I got this awesome picture of me with Zach; win win! Or as Zach says…BOOM!

4. I love snow and the place I call home.

IMG_3558

I know you are wondering how I love snow is a lesson. Well just keep reading and you will see.

Our family made a trip to Salt Lake City for my grandmother’s memorial services and it snowed. Arriving there and seeing all the sites is so relaxing. Even though I only lived there for 3 years; literally from 0-3, it is home to me. It is the one place in the world that actually feels like I belong 100%. I love just about everything about it. I know that the snow made travel a bit hard and it was really cold, but I can’t help thinking my grandma knew how much I loved the snow; how much I loved home blanketed in snow and she made sure that it was covered in it just in time for us to be there. This made me realize that even if there isn’t always someone to go home to that maybe just the place needs to be visited to sooth your soul to feel that welcoming feeling. So I guess that means that you need to find that place that feels like home and visit it if you aren’t already there. See that is kind of lesson worthy.

5. Find your happy.

IMG_3557

Find your happy – whatever it might be. Maybe it’s a person; like these two pictured here. They are blissfully happy when they are together. Or maybe it’s a good cup of coffee or maybe it is a long hike. Whatever it is find it and make sure it becomes a part of your life on a regular basis. Life is hard and you need to make time for what makes you happy.

6. Keep going…

IMG_3556
The Barista at Starbucks wrote “good job on your 5k” on my cup – proof that I actually looked like I ran the whole thing. Which I totally did, even though my 11 year old son beat me by 10 minutes.
Sometimes you are your own worst enemy or at least I am. I want to be healthier and I want to be able to run 9 miles again. I will do that in 2016, but I know it will be one of the hardest things that I do to accomplish that again. I had to put all my focus and energy into it when I did it last time and this time I am busier and somehow more exhausted, but I must keep going. In 2015 the farthest I got was 5 miles and 20 pounds heavier. 2016 is going to be different. I hope you go after what you want in 2016, too. And I hope no matter how hard it might be that you achieve it.

7. Little things…

IMG_3554

Mother Theresa said do small things with great love. I have mentioned her before, I know. She is kind of a big deal. Any way I put that into action three years ago with the 25 days of Holiday Cheer and then adding to that by doing 36 random acts of kindness for my birthday and then the next year Fluttering for Unravel. So I took a trip down my Facebook feed (that is what memory lane is these days) and saw that most of what I do these days is small things with great love. I cannot tell you how much that helps me. See I am human and I mess up; rather a lot really. But doing things for others in small steps and sharing that with others has changed my life in such a drastic way. This is something that will continue through 2016 and if you have an idea about how to help others – go for it because amazing things happen.

8. You get old.

IMG_3561 (1)
This is my son…I cannot be old enough to have a son this age!
Holy Freaking Fruitloops kids put the fast forward button on your life. I cannot believe I have been a mom for over a decade and that my 20 year high school reunion is in 2016. That math doesn’t compute with how I feel, but that doesn’t change the fact that you get old. I have decided instead of being bummed about getting old I am going to enjoy it. I am going to love each day and what it brings. Of course crappy things happen when you age and there is more death than you ever wanted to face ever, but there are cool things, too. Like watching your kids become grown people and getting to stay up as late as you want and being able to drink alcohol in a mug that says “whole ass one thing” if that isn’t icing on the freaking age cake I don’t know what is.

9. Marriage matters.

IMG_3562 (1)

So as my husband was calmly putting together a doll house this Christmas Eve (yes that doll house above had more pieces than you can imagine) and we spent until 1:30 AM putting the final touches on Christmas; it really hit home what a good team we are. My husband, yes I know I have talked about him before as well, is just pretty amazing. He helps around the house, he is a hands on dad, and he works so hard to provide for our family. But we are a team and marriage is hard work. We went out a couple times just the two of us this year (I know I had a post about date night once a month-it didn’t happen) and we are still best friends. Yes of course at first the kids dominate the conversation, but we have found that our marriage is the key foundation to our family and it needs work to make sure that the family stays sturdy. In 2016 I am going to make sure I let him know how important he is and how much I appreciate all he does for us. And more importantly, I am going to make sure I let him know how awesome I am and that together we are like the Dream Team. Too much? Okay, well you get the idea.

10. Being a twin mom…

IMG_3553 (1)

I get it, I do…they are stinking cute and tons of fun. They also can cause quite a ruckus and I have blamed a lot of my failing memory, lack of sleep, disorganized ball dropping behavior on being a twin mom. And in 2016 that will not change. Having 4 kids is enough to drive one woman bat shit crazy. I love them dearly and I wouldn’t want my life any other way, but it is totally their fault that I am a completely different human than I was 10 years ago. It is completely their fault that I am losing my mind, but it is also completely their fault that I am a way better human than I was a decade ago. It is completely their fault, all four of them, that I know and understand a love that can’t be explained with words. I understand what it means to be selfless because of them. So even though I blame them 100% I also thank them 100% for all that they have done to help me become who I am today.

I wish you and yours a blessed and prosperous 2016.

Sincerely,

Amy Poehler’s BFFaE

signature

I am not the girl I used to be…

I am not the girl I used to be…

I write a lot about being kind; it is definitely hard to be kind some days. I also keep it real. Is it always easy for you to be kind? Maybe I am doing it wrong.

As you know I am the mother of four small children and I have learned to stand my ground and not take any back talk. So when I have people at work give me a bunch of crap sometimes I am not always kind, but instead I diplomatically call them out. I think that is kind of like an adult time out. I mean really if I don’t let my children talk to me like that then I shouldn’t let other people talk to me like that either.

I am not the girl I used to be; you can’t walk over me and expect me to smile and take it. I smile, look you in the eye and ask you to take that kind of attitude elsewhere.

2014-10-20_1215

I am a like a sugary version of Judge Judy or a very sugary version of Judge Judy.

 

Learning to stand up for myself one  adult time out at a time,

signature

 

August Lessons (2014 Style)

August Lessons (2014 Style)

Arthur Ashe

I know, I know it is already half way through September and I am just getting to the August lessons post, but this is how we roll around here lately. I am definitely doing the best I can and dog gone it – that is good enough. I think that will be my motto for the rest of September, October, November and December. I like the idea of just starting where you are and using what you have to do the best you can. I think that is all we can do to maneuver through this adventure called life.

Hopefully these August lessons help you remember to just start where you are:

1. Go for adventures.

beach day

 

This summer I took the day off before school and we hit the road. We packed up snacks, drinks, blankets, and sand toys and headed straight to the beach. It was well worth the time spent together. If you can just pack up and go on adventure – do it; so worth it.

 

cabin

 

We also headed out over Labor Day weekend to a friend’s cabin. It was definitely a good time. Lots of swimming, playing and spending time together. We even were able to snap a couple of family photos.

 

cabin family

 

We also were fortunate enough to venture out to the circus. The kids loved every minute of it. The clowns made them laugh, the trapeze made them gape wide-mouthed, and they loved watching the elephants. It was a great adventure with our family and extended family.

circus

2. Have important conversations in person

This month almost a decade after a major misunderstanding; it was resolved in about an hour with a one on one, face to face conversation. Always talk to the person, in person, and you can resolve whatever issue you have even if it is to decide that you agree to disagree.

3. Capture your kids playing on film

I very seldom take out my camera. I once read how centuries ago Native Americans did not like having their picture taken because they felt that each photo took a piece of their soul with it. I have always felt a little like that. But having a camera on my phone has made taking pictures a little more accessible.

My kids are growing fast, as kids do and so when we were at the park I started snapping away at the kids playing. This was so fun to look back at the photos and see their little faces and personalities in each of those shots. I highly recommend at least once a year snapping pictures of your kids at play just so you have some tangible memories.

doubles at play

 

at play

4. Drink in the moments of peace you get.

As parents, citizens, just people living in this century, our lives move so fast. Technology and change have just made it so that our days and time are filled to the brim with things to do. Take moments to soak up the good, to really look into your children’s eyes or to just watch a sunset. Drink in the peace of any moment that lets you slow down. Our souls need those moments; I truly don’t think we were built to move at warp speed and yet somehow day in and day out we do.

drink in peace

 

5. Let your kids dress themselves and be proud

I am so glad I let my kids dress themselves. I want them to learn as early on as possible to be independent, show their own sense of style, and just have the opportunity to express themselves. We are often wearing two left shoes, backwards pants, and crazy mismatched outfits, but I love every minute and am so proud of my kids for doing things themselves.

who says...

 

peace dude

 

panda hat

 

twin learning curve

 

6. Don’t leave your phone unattended.

Just a word to the wise if you leave your phone unattended and your kids get to it before the screen locks you will have a thousand pictures of randomness and several interesting selfies. Or then again, leave it unattended; it is a wee bit entertaining.

phone bomb

 

Life is crazy, good and wonderfully fun – start where you are – do your best to look for the bright side and keep moving forward.

Happy September,

M

My Real Life

My Real Life

These bruises make for better conversation
Loses the vibe that separates
It’s good to let you in again
You’re not alone in how you’ve been
Everybody loses, we all got bruises

-Train, “Bruises”

Last night before getting ready for bed, I looked in the mirror and for the first time in a long time I liked what I saw. I thought; you know I appreciate this body – it has carried four children, these are the arms that hug them tight, and the face that greets them each day, this smile is the smile that they help elicit, the wrinkles on my face are smile lines and all of that is what makes me beautiful. And I thought to myself, I think I am finally getting a handle on this joy thing. But before you congratulate me or call BULLCRAP – I am going somewhere with this.

See directly after that vision of grandeur I stayed up working until midnight and then writing my blog cheer post until 2 AM.

Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 11.45.08 PMWhen I awoke at 6:30 this morning and I stumbled to the bathroom, all the while wishing Starbucks had miraculously opened a new location in my living room, I looked in the mirror and to my dismay I realized that I had just been drunk with joy the night before – SERIOUSLY?! I had looked at myself and thought I looked presentable – for one my eyebrows are atrocious. I really need to pluck them, but before I could do that one of the twins peeks in and asks if he can have milk, and then my daughter comes in asking if her underwear is clean because she can’t find any underwear in her drawer.

Really?! She has about 35 to 40 pairs of underwear and on top of that she can’t tell me when she is down to her last pair so I know I have to make a load of whites a priority, okay so maybe that is asking too much of a 7 year-old. But do not despair my fellow readers; I had done the laundry and my trusty treadmill was displaying it for me. So in seconds I was able to produce the underwear, finish throwing on my clothes while my little Z man pleaded for milk and asked when we would be seeing Santa Claus. As my husband passes by me he asks when his parents can come by to which I have to rifle through our hectic schedule, of guitar, parent teacher conferences, Nutcracker rehearsal, Christmas Girl Scout Parade Walking, Dance Recital Watching, Tennis, etc. so that we can find a good time for them to actually see all 4 children in one place. This sets me back a good five minutes, but I do think we miraculously made the bed while we talked. I know, you can be impressed, it’s okay we are professionals at this multi-tasking gig.

Then Z man and I headed down the stairs, and he directly joins his older brother and sister in their search for Jackey, our elf on the shelf. I scramble to get milk and vitamins on the table and then pack two lunches that my children won’t eat. During lunch packing  I help lead them to finding the elf so that they will just sit down and eat their breakfast.

As I am rushing around grabbing clothes for the twins and helping my oldest brush his hair and my daughter get a sweatshirt – my little Z man is following me all the way whining mom, mom, mom, mom don’t leave me – where are we going – mom I need a hug, mom carry me, and finally to just complete meltdown because I won’t meet his every demand and answer his every question IMMEDIATELY. While Z man is melting down, my oldest is letting me know he needs $2 for his class party, so I am scrambling to get that and an envelope for him all the while listening to my youngest throw his mega tantrum because I didn’t carry him down the stairs.

Then while I help my daughter pack her backpack so that we can leave the house on time, I completely forget that I was supposed to go to Micheal’s. I know that the teacher gave us plenty of time get the materials on this list, but it was given to us right before the holidays when we went out of town and then my daughter was sick all week – anyway check out this list – I love her teacher, but seriously an art project with this many necessary supplies can’t really be worth it, can it?

photo(12)photo(13)

(Sorry for the poor photos) I know first world problems, but Christmas Cookies – I think I should just buy stock in Micheal’s. I then ask my daughter to let her teacher know that we will get to Micheal’s to get the supplies and have them at school tomorrow, please tell your teacher I am VERY sorry for the delay.

As soon as that is taken care of; I go to wake up the other sleeping twinlet and get him downstairs so that I can get him bundled for our trip outdoors in the 26 degree California Freeze that we had this morning. All the while mind you Z man has not stopped crying. But I somehow manage to dress both boys and get us out the door.

We are rushing along because we left a bit late; and while I am rushing her along what I really want to do is revel in the ice and frost covering the houses, lawns and sidewalks but instead we are hustling our butts to school. When we get to school we are SECOND in line – this literally has never happened to us all year. So I hustled us for no good reason. Now we get to enjoy the cold while we wait for the second bell to ring so she can be led inside.

With the oldest kids off to school my husband and I take turns on conference calls so that we can get our work all done in between the “Can I have two candies out of my bag?” (Yes, we still have Halloween candy and I am fully aware that it is almost Christmas). “Can I have a dwink?” Can I have a snack?” “When are we going to see Santa?” “Does Santa have a sleigh?” “Can I play on yours iPad?” I also am pretty sure I changed 10 poopy diapers today; what they are eating I don’t know because anytime I put food out these days they take two bites and I really don’t think that all the goldfish crackers that they eat can really turn into that much crap – but I guess it’s a Christmas Miracle.

Anyway, as I am plugging along finally zipping through some projects after finishing my morning conference calls, At a about quarter to one my cell phone rings and it is the school nurse say that my oldest son has hit his head pretty hard and that he wants me to come get him. He told the nurse two different stories of how he got hurt so when we get to the car, I ask him for the real truth of what happened. Sure enough he had played hot lava (some kind of crazy tag game) with his friends and they were running toward the slide and his best friend bumped into him tin his hurry to get down the slide quickly – sheer accident – they were just running fast and when he slammed into the back of E; E hit his head on the top bar of the slide. He had a fantastic goose egg and already has a bit of a black eye. He didn’t tell the nurse what happened because he was worried his friend would get in trouble.

We swing by to pick up his sister from school, too because by the time we are all through she is out for the day as well. We head home where again I am on the phone for pretty much the rest of the day until 4:30 non-stop. The kids do two hours of homework. I beg my husband to pick up dinner on his way home from the vet – yes our dog has some virus she picked up from the kennel while we were gone, she will be fine – and he agrees. The man is a saint really.

While he is gone I bathe two of the kids, help with homework, and remember I should go to the bathroom because I don’t think I have gone since about 11 this morning. When he returns, I head out to deliver holiday cheer and come back to one child already in bed and another crying. So I put the twins to bed and then come down to another child crying because her homework is too hard, but luckily dad is saving the day; so I decide I should eat dinner before I forget.

I check work email; make another call and send a quick couple emails and go off to tuck the other two kidlets into bed and I remind myself that these are all first world problems, I have healthy kids, a great husband, running water, modern appliances, family for support and the warm showers I need to remember those things and be grateful, especially because I get to do this crazy, wild ride all over again tomorrow.

I’m imperfect and I’m enough – I just have to keep telling myself that.

photo(14)P.S. please excuse the grammar mistakes on this one – i literally am falling asleep typing.

Tuesday Surprise

Today was like any other day lately…submerged neck deep in 3-year-old drama – double time. If one isn’t throwing a fit because they can’t color with marker on the dining room walls, then the other has started to throw themselves into a yelling fit because they can’t use the monster truck as a weapon. Anything can set the unpredictable fits off; no cookies for breakfast, putting on shoes too fast, not having the right jacket clean, they want it zipped up and then it isn’t zipped up far enough. I am sure any caregiver of a 2-3.5 year old knows that you are in constant hostile negotiations over just about everything and you have to be a redirecting guru to manage meltdown after meltdown from your beautiful, sweet, miraculous toddler.

Toddler meltdown of course came with a side of work overload, 6 loads of laundry, conference calls with attorneys, and a lack of sleep. So my sweet husband decides to take us out to dinner as a way to just get out and do something a bit different. Off we go and as we get into the car one of our beautiful, sweet miraculous toddlers decides he wants a hug. We are all buckled and I say, “We are already all buckled, we have to get going I will give you a hug when we get to the restaurant.” To which shoes get kicked off and screaming ensues. For the 15 minute drive to the restaurant we hear constant crying and screaming. That was just the beginning. Through dinner husband and I muse to each other that we can’ t have more than two kids happy at a time and then wonder if going out to dinner with four kids under 9 was a good idea to begin with. We are packing up and receive the check defeated and tired and you know what?! Tuesdays kids eat free. BEST DAY EVER!!

Three years and a few months ago…

Screen Shot 2013-07-12 at 7.49.12 AMThree years and a few months ago I went in for an ultrasound and it confirmed what I already thought – I was having twins. We were excited but also scared and if anyone gave me two of the same outfit I couldn’t hold them both at once without starting to panic a bit. I knew this was going to be wonderful, but also really hard. I already had two older children, so it wasn’t my first rodeo but two at once was a bit overwhelming.

A few months later I had another ultrasound. This time I had to go to a fancy place where they could not only measure the baby, but also watch blood flow and who knows what else. Very high-tech.

Anyway I knew pretty quickly that something wasn’t right. The technician took forever taking measurements and looking and re-looking at the babies. When she was done they moved me into another room where my husband and I waited for the doctor. I was not ready for what came next. The doctor told us that there was a large percentage/chance that one of the twins had Down Syndrome. She stressed that I should get an amnio test that day and went through stats of how it was more likely that I was carrying a baby with downs than there was risk that an amnio would harm one of the fetuses. I didn’t want an amnio – what difference would it make? I was having the babies no matter what; wasn’t this information enough to prepare me in the event one of the boys did have Down’s? She continued to state that if I was refusing the amnio that I should most definitely speak with a genetic counselor. {6 years ago I had already done that with my first son – there is some genetic history of disorders so I had been down that road – I knew that discussion wouldn’t make a difference either.} I refused genetic counseling and made an emergency appointment with my doctor. My doctor is fabulous! She spoke to us and she knew my history and that I would be delighted to have any baby no matter the circumstances and she agreed that this information was enough to prepare me in the event that one of the babies did in fact have a genetic disorder. She saw no reason to have the amnio and that was that.

Two weeks later I was back in my doctor’s office. This time with labor pains and they did a test to see if I was in pre-term labor. By the time my husband and I arrived home the phone was already ringing – yes I was in pre-term labor and could I please go to the hospital so that they could monitor me over night. I was given medication to stop the contractions, monitored overnight and released with strict orders of bed rest. I was not happy about being bed-ridden, but I knew it was best. I stayed down and it was really hard – like lose your mind hard. I still was working – answering phone calls and emails, which probably saved me from actually going crazy. I moved to the couch in the afternoon because my mom came to stay with us until husband got home from work. It went fairly well until the Thursday of Memorial Day weekend. I was 27 weeks and I was having some pretty big contractions.

This time they admitted me to the hospital, began monitoring me right away and put me on magnesium. That stuff is awful. It feels like they are setting you on fire from the inside out. You pretty much feel like you are dying and everyone just walks around you like no big deal. During the first twenty minutes in the hospital, my doctor made me transfer my care to a different physician since she would be out-of-town and she was pretty sure I would deliver that weekend. The head of the NICU came to speak to us and told us about viability, statistics of prenatal infants and what their lives are like. We toured the NICU and there were 25 week old twins I was not allowed to see because mine would be a bit more developed. I peeked a transparent arm as they quickly wheeled me past and my brain filled in the picture from books that I had read; that started the tears. Every bassinet we passed the crocodile tears just rolled down my cheeks. Those babies and those super moms – women of steel that we passed put me in utter awe. They were so strong, and brave for those tiny babies. I couldn’t even meet their eyes I felt so guilty I was crying at their sweet little ones.

I had to hang on 5 more weeks, there was no more if ands or buts about it. I had to hang on and I had to get out of that hospital. First step – get off the magnesium.

I accomplished that within about 48 hours and when they weened me off the magnesium, the very first night I was mag free, I had crazy contractions. I didn’t even feel them, the nurse’s feet running down the hallway is what woke me up. She was shocked I was sleeping through them. She gave me a shot of something – I got a shot of this about every other day for weeks, so I can’t believe I forgot what it is called, but I forget. Anyhow, it slowed and eventually stopped the contractions. I spent Memorial Day weekend in the hospital and on through to the Wednesday after. They checked me out, no major contractions so they decided to send me home, with VERY SUPER-DUPER STRICT orders of bed rest. I was bedridden for 5 more weeks.

During that time I was sent to the hospital every other day for non-stress tests. At one of these appointments in my 32nd week I started having major contractions again and they felt that the babies were still better off on the inside so they gave me another one of those lovely shots and stopped my labor. It was that day that I lost it. I knew (you know how you know – our mommy-sense goes off and you just know something isn’t right) that something wasn’t right and that those babies had to be born. I cried and cried. I didn’t speak to my husband for the rest of the day because he had said that I had to go to the hospital and would not listen to me that something wasn’t right and that the babies needed to be born . Luckily I had my last ultra-sound appointment the next day. I knew this would prove what my mommy-sense was telling me.

Sure enough they took forever again examining the babies. The doctor came into see me and he asked if I had any major plans for that night and I said,”just delivering these babies, no hot dates for me!” He smiled and said it was time. One of my little ones had stopped growing roughly 2-3 weeks ago and the placenta was just about null and void of helping him survive. So off I went to the hospital. Relieved, but still knowing that we were not completely out of the woods yet.

Another saving grace – we knew I was going into labor soon the day before and the very smart nurse I had seen gave me a shot of a hormone that would help my boys breathe on their own if they were born early. Thank goodness for that nurse. I was prepped for a c-section even though we would only go that route if necessary – my doctor just wanted to be ready in the event that was necessary. Things went very smoothly for the most part – as smooth as they can go in labor, right?! Both boys were delivered. C-Man was born first. They laid him on my chest and right away he sighed. His sweet little body let out the biggest sigh. He had been the very, very squished twin and was a whole pound smaller than his brother it would turn out. He also had no circulation to one of his legs for some time on the inside, the lack of circulation was so great because he was so incredibly squished the doctor was afraid he would lose that leg for the first few days of his life. Z-Man arrived 9 minutes later and he was screaming – he was so irritated that he had been born. No wonder, he had a totally different experience. He had been growing fine, getting enough food and nutrients and not in the least bit squished. He was small, but in all other areas a healthy baby boy.

That was the wonderful beginning to being a twin mommy. Today there are no remnants of that crazy 8 months, maybe traces of their personality differences, but no physical signs of what their prenatal life was like.

Being their mom is a blessing. While currently listening to two-three year old’s temper tantrums makes me think I am losing my mind and would be better off on bed rest, their “bear” hugs at bed time, cuddles throughout the day, silly faces and hilarious antics make all the whining tolerable. So for mama’s of twins – I have mad, crazy respect for you.

Love

Me