What is a spiritual medium?

What is a spiritual medium?

There are quite a few people who still ask exactly what I do. Since I get this question quite a bit I thought it would be good to try and define it here on the blog.

Being a spiritual medium is entirely different than just saying you speak to the dead.

In purest form being a medium means that you have the ability for soul to soul communication. We all have that ability; each and every one of us. It took me a while to figure out my own personal definition for mediumship, but after over 400+ readings and roughly 3 decades of experience with spirit; I believe that is what mediumship is. It is the ability to understand and communicate soul to soul.

Souls do not need words to communicate. We can pick up a great deal about one another without even speaking. And I am not just talking about what we see and hear; I am talking about what we feel. This is also different than telepathy or mind reading. Our souls can communicate their needs, wants, fears, hopes, dreams, and memories to one another directly. A soul can communicate and understand without the aid of a physical body, and this is possible if the soul resides in a living body or outside of that in the afterlife.

Spiritual mediums can receive messages from spirit in a variety of ways, and no two mediums are precisely alike just like no two people are exactly alike; unless you want to get technical with identical twins, but even then I would say there are two distinctly different people involved.

Mediums can be clairvoyant, clairaudient, clairsentient, or claircognizant.

Clairvoyant (clear sight) means that one is able to “see” things beyond perceptual sight. So information is perceived or felt through the heart or mind’s eye.

Clairaudient, is you guessed it, the ability to hear messages from spirit. These messages can be impressions in the mind or heard audibly through our human senses.

Clairsentient means that messages can be relayed through feeling both physical and emotional. This type of medium can feel physical sensations that a spirit would have felt in life or even feel these sensations of souls currently in physical bodies.

Finally, mediums that have claircognizance just know things. Messages come through with complete clarity. These individuals know with certainty that someone is lying, they also get ideas readily and easily. Like a lightbulb going off in their heads.

A spiritual medium can have one or all of the abilities in receiving spiritual communication. These gifts can vary or change over time as well. It is also possible to develop and enhance the ability to use these gifts with practice and dedication.

Hallelujah anyway

Hallelujah anyway

Y’all I saw Jen Hatmaker last week on the Moxie Matters Tour, and I just have to say Hallelujah and Amen. She is such a down to earth, genuine human. She showed up sick and tired and persevered through the evening. She is just one of my favorite humans.

The theme of the evening centered around being a good neighbor and what that meant. She used the Parable of the Good Samaritan, Luke 10:25-37, to illustrate what Jesus taught us about being a good neighbor.

See, Jesus tells the story of a man that is robbed, beaten, stripped and left for dead and how a priest and a holy man not only pass him by when they see him; they move to the other side of the street. The person who stops to help the robbed and beaten man is a Samaritan. Now in biblical times; a Samaritan was someone who was cast off and despised. Yet, this is the person who Jesus uses as the helper and caregiver. (If you want to read the verses yourself check them out here.)

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I know, I have a blessed and beautiful life. I get that. But Y’all, we every single one of us, have experienced pain. We have all had some form of beaten down-ness even if it is in the metaphorical sense. Jen shared this, and I wholeheartedly agree. Pain is common ground.

For me it has been this journey to be my whole self out loud; to finally follow my calling to mediumship. Even though I know what I am doing is right, it still seems to strike shame, hurt and fear in me.

See I have been talked down to, told I was the devil, said I speak to demons, that I capitalize on other people’s pain. People who love me have said that the only reason they believe me is because it is me. While that is nice; it still means that what I have been asked to do; called to do, is something vile and wrong in their book; that there is this notion that it is all hooey. That what I do cannot be real.

Even I have doubts; I am human after all, but those doubts don’t come from my soul at all. The shame, fear and hurt all come from human interaction and logic. When I let my soul do the talking, there are no doubts; there is no fear, there is no shame. But when I have to interact with other humans, the lump in my throat stretches, and I can’t seem to get out the words to explain what I do without feeling some shame.

The trick is, I was born this way. Being able to see spirit is as much a part of me as my hazel eyes, bad temper, and the blood that runs through my body. This is me. This is my normal. This isn’t something I created out of thin air. It isn’t even something I can escape. Believe me I have tried. Baptism made it stronger. Hiding didn’t stop what I was seeing it just kept me safe from other humans knowing and their reactions.

I spent most of my life in hiding. Straddling two worlds. Living in them and between them. Being someone different on the inside than on the outside. I know many of you understand this. You get that it sucks big time.

I didn’t want that for my kids. I don’t want that for anyone at all. We should have our inside match our outside. We should be free to be ourselves. We should all love our neighbors as we love ourselves. And for Pete’s sake we should love ourselves.

But it was ironic listening to Jen speak. Listening to her talk about what she felt and how she had dealt with ridicule last year, and I thought; I wonder if you knew who I was, if we were sitting down talking to me, would you accept me? All of me? I didn’t feel like I would be allowed in. OUTCAST. That is how I will forever be branded.

Seeing Jen felt like going to church on a school night. I am not saying it like that is a bad thing. It made me miss a connection to God like that. Now God and I are good. Jesus and I are cool. I think I am okay there, but to have a church and a community that loves God also accept me; those things are mutually exclusive. I don’t believe that there is a church that would welcome all of me with open arms. It stings a little because I feel like that is something missing in my life. Not God or the four walls, but the community of like-minded souls in worship.

I sat in this event thinking I want to be a part of something like this and left feeling like that will never happen. Yes, I know having God love me is enough, but we are all human, and man it would be nice to feel whole and unashamed in a room like that.

It made me think of my event and how the people who have known me all my life, saw proof of things I could not conjure up, research or find out on my own, saw evidence that spirit can speak through me and still somehow wanted more clarification that God was okay with what I do. I can’t give anyone that. It isn’t my place.

I think a part of me felt that if I spoke my truth out loud it would wash away the hurt and the shame and I could be me without feeling wrong somehow. Nope. I will have to defend myself to my dying day.

Dentists, doctors, teachers, stay at home moms, marketers, gardeners, chefs, cashiers they don’t have to hide in shame when they tell people what they do for a living.

Just posting my live event brought out people who thought they could heal me with Bible Speak and damnation. I do not need to be healed. I am already whole. I am a decent person who loves her children, puts time and energy into the community she lives in, has a stable, healthy marriage, is kind to others, and hasn’t ever committed a crime in her life. Okay, okay, I once checked my email on my phone at a stop light; I have a ticket for that, but that is it. And still, I feel like some abomination. It just makes me tired.

I know sometimes it feels like it is only doom and gloom here on the blog, but this is where I can work out my shit. It is in my blog where I can feel all the feels and then get to the other side. I know, some people say you shouldn’t share your story until you are all the way through, but I get stuck in the middle a lot. I get stuck and need to vent to find the light at the end of the tunnel or to see the damn switch on the wall that has been there all along.

Some people told me after seeing me live that they didn’t know I was that funny or they didn’t realize I was that engaging. Well, duh I can’t be myself most places. But there in that room, people bought a ticket to see the real me, and I showed up.

My instinct to hide has been a part of me since I was two years old. I knew I wasn’t like everyone else. I was something different. That is all I have been all my life, something different. I count myself lucky, besides being female, I was able to hide who I was, to escape judgment because my difference is something that couldn’t be seen. And yes, I also know that I chose to speak up, I decided to let this loose. I get it. You can’t have it all.

But I guess because I was straddling both worlds and keeping it secret for so long; I miss my secret hiding place sometimes. I miss a place where I could pretend to feel whole and not have to feel what people think of me.

hallelujah anyway. I choose to stumble forward with as much grace as I can muster and hope for the best.

The good news, I guess, is that I am who I am. I know that my relationship with God is intact. If HE was pissed at me, I am pretty sure I would know it. And if I keep doing what I think is the next right thing that is all I can do. That is all we can ask of anyone. To do the best they can with what they have. So even if I can’t fit in places I would like to, and I might be seen as an evildoer in some circles; I just have to be the best me I can be. That is all I have to offer and at the end of the day that is good enough. So I say, hallelujah anyway. I choose to stumble forward with as much grace as I can muster and hope for the best. I will be a good neighbor and a good human. That is enough and it is okay if I stumble through it. I think moving forward with as much grace as I can muster is A-okay.

Miracles

Miracles

Gratitude is still lingering in our minds as it was Thanksgiving for some of us just a few months ago. I saw the Facebook posts blowing up with the 30 days of thanks. I saw the pictures about being thankful and blessed. Then, December brought us Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Advent, and many more holidays around the world. In our neck of the woods the Holiday Cards come zipping in (mine will be a New Year’s card this year, or around then) and the pictures of families fill them. Smiling kids, dogs, and little notes about what is going on in everyone’s worlds. I love them, cherish them to pieces, but my heart breaks a little when I think of who might be missing from those photos or my friends that will never have a complete family photo ever again. How crushing this time of year can be for some. And with it being January that doesn’t just lift away like a fog; even in our happiest moments; pain becomes a lifeline on our hands, the words on the tips of our tongues we do not speak, and the ache in our heart that never quite goes away.

Some of you have heard me share this story, but I want to share it here again. A preacher shared this at a sermon.

A property owner needed to drill a well. Out came the man with the tools to drill the well. As they began drilling they ran into difficulty because it was winter and the ground was frozen. Frustrated, the land owner was ready to give up, “I guess we will just have to wait until spring,” he said.

“Oh no,” replied the man drilling. “You need to keep drilling. If you find water in the winter you will have water all year-long.”

It reminds me of all of those that are grateful; that have had moments of great loss as well. And that sometimes our hearts are frozen over with the cold grief. While it may seem impossible; we can drill down, even in the winter, even in the bleakest of circumstances; which I know we are hearing about on the news and some of us are living through. We must keep drilling to reach the water; to reach faith and gratitude so that it becomes something we have 365 days a year. So it becomes our habit and pattern of behavior; not just for the end of the year, but all year long. It can be the thing that sits beside us when we have fallen and it can be the voice that whispers us awake again and again. It can be the cheerleader that helps us forge ahead with each step that we take.

When I was very little I knew I was different because I could see and hear things others could not. I learned to keep this part of myself hidden. And when I hid that part of myself it became easy to hide. I have spent the last several years unveiling my hidden pieces. Breaking open and becoming vulnerable. It has been one of the most difficult things to do. And yet it is yielding powerful results in my life; this drilling down. It has led me to things and moments I never dreamed of having.

We burn with divine light

I get to witness miracles. God gave me an amazing gift and I am fortunate enough to help others with it. Even with the joy that comes with what I witness, the weight and sadness of the lives I interact with weigh heavy on my heart. I would much rather my clients loved ones were still physically with them then me have the job that I do. It’s a tough one and most days it makes me feel less than, instead of unique because no matter what I do it will never be enough. That is just the nature of it.

The point is that I suck at this life thing on the regular. I am pretty sure most days I make more mistakes than not, but in the end, I win more than I lose. Breaking myself open to being completely vulnerable has made me unable to sit at many tables; it quickly separates me from people, and definitely makes me an outcast. I am readily seen as different. But aren’t we all seen that way in some realm of our lives?

When I look at my family, my friends and see those family cards flowing in; I can see between the lines. I see the triumphs and the fears; the dark and the light in their lives. We are all just surviving the best way we know how.

It would be a beautiful thing if we stopped using our differences as weapons and instead used them to be the light in one another’s lives. We have one thing in common; each of us is human. Each of us has a beating heart with emotions and a body with basic needs. If we started where we are, THE SAME, and cherished where those similarities ended and made room for everyone at the table that would be a miraculous world. And not just because we would all find a way to coexist; but because when we start to allow miracles into our lives; they start to show up over and over again.

Because I take a blind leap of faith every day – yes, it is blind; there is no way for me to know what I believe is truth – I witness miracles in my work and life every single day; multiple times a day, but I know that is because I believe in something greater than myself; I believe miracles happen every second of every day and I watch for them and give thanks for them. That is what allows their frequency in my life; that I expect them to be there. I know this is not easy for all; believing in something you can’t see is so very hard.

Welcome

Clients of mine often express their struggle to comprehend a session and truly believe what happened was real. Even when we are presented with a direct, divine answer from the universe that there is something greater, that we are not in control, it is hard to believe. I get it. Nothing anyone can do, or anything you witness can force you to believe in anything; you have to choose to believe. But, that is the thing, what I do isn’t about proof; it isn’t about the idea that frequency will make it real and solid; you have to believe on your own.

As always, with what I do and how to explain it; I think of God. I think of Jesus.

Jesus was given to us as a most precious gift and he gave his life for us. He wasn’t invited to every table in life and he isn’t invited to every table in death, as there are people who do not believe in him. People make a choice to believe or not to believe. Regardless of how others viewed him, he lived his best life, vulnerable, open, and believing in something greater than himself.

When we believe, when we chose to be open, we find the miracles in life; we witness greatness that has no other explanation. I think being vulnerable, open and choosing to believe is enough. It is what I chose each day. Right or wrong it leads me toward faith, miracles and blessings. I wouldn’t choose any other way.

Peace be with you,
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The feather and the bird

The feather and the bird

A Thursday night several months ago, I had a session with a client. Her father, who was in spirit, stepped forward to share messages with her. During the session, he showed me a brown and white feather. It was rather large; about 12 inches in length and while there was white rippling though it the majority of the feather was a deep brown like worn leather.

He told me that this feather was a sign he gave his daughter to let her know that he was with her. My ego butted in since I had never seen a feather like this before; I wasn’t sure if they were real, and told her I wasn’t sure about the validity of this message, but that is what her dad was showing me. She said it made perfect sense she saw them all the time. Not that I said this out loud, but I didn’t really believe it, I hadn’t ever seen anything like that. The reading continued on as they do, but I still held onto the fact that I hadn’t ever seen a feather like that before.

The next day we left on a camping trip and that Saturday morning my husband and I took a walk on the beach as my aunt and uncle were with us and agreed to watch the kids. I was excited! It was like a little mini date; with four kids those are hard to come by.

As I was walking, each step I took I saw one of the feathers that the father had shown me during the reading that Thursday night.

I was in awe.

I saw one every few steps. Over and over again I was shown this feather.

Now, I am going to digress for a second. My husband was with me and he has never seen me do a reading and he still believes in coincidence. I have learned that there are no coincidences. Each event happens on purpose and with purpose. And of course, like any good wife I could not resist to take this opportunity to let him on what I thought was a message from spirit straight to me. Obviously to remind me not to doubt their messages and to keep my ego quiet.

I turn to him and say, “Can you believe this? Look at these feathers. These are the feathers I was telling you about. I have never seen them before and now there are right in front of me with each step I take.”

“We are at the beach and there are a lot of birds here. There are going to be feathers everywhere.” He answers with the tone that sounds just like an eye roll.

As we pass another one, I speak up again.

“Right in front of my foot and nowhere to each side? Really? What will it take for you to believe this isn’t a coincidence?” Exasperation saturating each word.

“There would have to be a big, dead, brown bird right in front of me to believe that.” He says with a laugh.

We continued down the beach and there were more feathers. I was disappointed I had left my camera back at the trailer and could not take any photos, but I have also learned that is how miracles work; we often have to believe without proof. After looking at the tide pools for a bit we turned back.

We began to follow our exact footprints back the way we came. There are no other people on the beach that day since it is pretty overcast and dreary. It is late fall after all.

As we are walking, I start to see a large mass ahead of us. As we near closer to the mass we notice it is in fact an animal. As we come upon it we are able to decipher exactly what it is.

A big, dead, brown bird.

Yep, a big, dead, brown bird and it is right next to our footprints. It was not there on the way out. I give my husband a look and take a mental note not to leave my phone behind anymore. Man, I wish I had a picture of this! I know, I know, I tell spirit…I am not supposed to have to prove these things. I am just supposed to accept them as they come.

“That is a dead bird,” he says.

“Don’t look at me. That bird’s life is on you.” I say.

He walks over to the bird and apologizes.

“Now do you believe there are no coincidences?” I ask.

“I will give you a 60/40 chance on that one.” He answers as any good husband would, but I can tell this one shook him a bit more than that.

You ask and you shall receive. Spirit messages are everywhere and the more you pay attention; the more you are open to them, the more they reign down on you with abundance. Even when it is a big, dead, brown bird.

Be careful what you ask for…

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An intuition filled life

An intuition filled life

At 8 AM; I wiped the sleep off my face, downed the last of my chai latte, said my typical pre-reading prayer and called a new client on the other side of the United States. Even after four years and a lifetime of experience, I still get nervous. My faith is deep and wide and true, but there is still a small part of me that hopes all goes well each and every time.

The reading that took place this early Sunday morning was one of my all time favorites. The sitter (my client), was nervous, and had been anxiously awaiting this appointment for months. We got started with the what to expect mumbo jumbo and spirit started to speak.

Spirit is so unpredictable. They come through with their unique personalities full of love and hope. It still surprises me how much laughter happens during a typical reading. Spirit has waited ages to speak through the microphone of a medium to get messages through to their loved ones. And once that connection is made it is like years of healing take place in under an hour. It’s a miracle. There are no words that accurately capture what happens in that hour; and yet here I am trying to find a way to impart some wisdom and capture what happened in this particular session.

This reading, I still don’t have a better word for these spirit interactions, brought so much out of my client. She like me is intuitive and had spent years ignoring or down playing her intuition because other people didn’t understand the way she made decisions, how she knew things without having any access to the information prior to an event or “knowing moment”.

It filled me with sadness that we aren’t recognizing these talents on a wide level. I know we don’t always understand it and logic rules the western world – don’t get me wrong logic is important, but so is a healthy dose of intuition.

Take for example, a mother and her infant. A worried mom brings her infant to the doctor because she “knows” something is not right. The doctor is not seeing that there is anything physiologically wrong with said infant, but the mother knows that there is. She is adamant that her child is suffering. She demands more tests, second opinions and lo and behold her baby has a severe case of acid reflux or Lyme or food allergies. Our society tells moms to trust their instincts. My friends these instincts are intuition.

My long winding point is intuition is getting a bad wrap and we need to trust that spidy-sense we get deep in our stomach that makes us feel like something is off or like something is just right. It is okay that we can’t explain it more than – it just feels right! That should be enough.

We ask our children to trust the feeling that if someone makes you uncomfortable in any way to physically change your proximity to that person and not ever be alone with them. Or at least I do and we should all trust our feelings even when they don’t make logical sense.

Intuition is our soul sending messages to our brain. It is trying to give us information when logic may not be enough or even when logic is failing us and we need to know the truth another way. Through the reading I had that Sunday morning this all becomes apparent. Spirit was validating my client’s feelings and telling her to listen to her intuition, it is her soul speaking. And I am reminded in this small session with her just how important that is for our safety, sanity and happiness.


How does one listen to their intuition or even find it in the first place? It is feeling all the feels. When you make a choice, become conscious of how your body reacts to that choice and then just keep practicing. Does the choice leave you a little off center? Does the choice make you a bit tingly all over and excited about what is coming next? Do you get a deep sense of calm thourought your being after you have made that decision? The more aware you are of how you feel the more likely you are to pay attention to these feelings.

Intuition can be practiced by entering a room and seeing how your emotions and body react to that space. The people you are with; how do you feel about them? What does your body naturally do around those people. If you are tense, there is probably a reason. If you easily relax; there is probably a reason.

Sometimes there is not a peep from intuition to guide you any one way and that is because logic is enough. You have it all figured out. Intuition steps up its game when it is trying to get you to see another perspective or make you take that big leap you are so hesitant to take.

When your soul is whispering to your conscious mind that is intuition and it has a place in our lives. It can keep you out of trouble and lead you into the right place at the right time. When we ignore intuition, our lives seem to be missing something.

Intuition has led me to so much success. Logic alone would not have led me down my current path. Intuition makes us a bit vulnerable which can be scary. Intuition often leaves us without explanation for our actions other than, “it just feels right”. I know some of you don’t need to hear this, but those of you that do, “it just feels right” is enough – no more explanation needed.

Our intuition is enough and it does us good to be in touch with how our soul is interpreting our surroundings and not just our mind. They are two separate things; sometimes they work in concert, but other times your soul wants something your mind can’t quite grasp and that is when intuition takes over. Let it. It doesn’t have to be what wins out, but intution should at least be considered and trusted as a valid part of our daily lives and how it guides us through our experiences. It is our soul speaking to us after all.

Until next time,

Speaking Soul: How I Discovered I was just a Translator

Speaking Soul: How I Discovered I was just a Translator

“Were you able to determine how the baby died, then?”

“Actually,” the medical examiner says. “That’s more complicated than most people think. We medical geeks make a distinction between the way a person died and the actual change in the body that causes the termination of life.”

Small Great Things – Jodi Picoult

It is easy to poke holes in the messages spiritual mediums deliver. That is not lost on me. Their messages can be vague in some cases and seem to apply in a broad sense. There are exact details given, but spirit does not come forward and say…”Hi, I am Jim. I am Marge’s brother and I died in a car accident on December 12, 1982.” It is frustrating that this isn’t how spirit communication works. I have asked spirit why it doesn’t work this way at least a gazillion times.

“Why the heck do you make this so difficult?” I ask. Never a clear answer. This hasn’t stopped my brain from trying to piece together an answer that makes sense. The beautiful thing about spirit is that it will answer you; you just might have to pay close attention to what information you are given and have the patience to sort through it to find the answer.

As with all great realizations, it took time for me to discover why spirit communicates the way that they do.  Okay, maybe all great realizations don’t take years to discover, some people have found the easy way and realizations happen via Google searches or by asking Siri a simple question. Unfortunately, Siri doesn’t ever answer my questions or understand them correctly for that matter. However, ironically Siri did help. Siri’s inability to understand my request to make a phone call led me to consider how Siri, a machine, translates human language. I mean I am speaking to a machine, after all. It doesn’t understand our language exactly. It is translating it and morphing it into a language it understands.

I mean Siri does say our own words back to us after all. Spirit should do the same, right? But, no that isn’t how spirit communication works. This is how some things work with Spirit. Sometimes I do hear and am able to pick up on exact phrases; whole conversation pieces. On the flip side; there is a ton of information that isn’t ever verbally communicated that I am able to pick up and have to decipher.

But this idea of Siri, Spirit and translation are still rattling around in my head as we head out across the Atlantic Ocean or pond, (I had to refer to it that way so that I wasn’t focused on being in a metal can thousands of feet above a vast ocean for HOURS to get there. I know, I know flying is safer than driving…yadda.yadda.yadda) to Ireland.

While in Ireland, our family had the opportunity to visit a Celtic Club where we learned how to play Irish Games – Hurling, Irish Football, and Handball. We were introduced to these games through a bit of Irish Culture because these games are a way that the Irish people preserve their Celtic Heritage. One of the things that I found illuminating in this brief overview of history was that there are no definite words for yes or no in true Gaelic Irish. There are as many shades of yes and no as there are shades of green across the Emerald Isle. Isn’t that a truly wonderful thing that there are shades of yes and no? Some people like definite, I like the shades of color and variance, open possibilities. The example below from a blog on mindfloss demonstrates an example of how questions are answered with out yes or no directly:

mentalfloss - Irish yes and no
http://mentalfloss.com/article/49480/8-fun-facts-about-irish-language

I started thinking about how words translate from language to language and it occurred to me that being a medium is like being a type of translator. It’s funny that the idea of mediumship being simple translation didn’t occur to me until now. But there it is. Spirit speaks soul and as with any language, translations aren’t exact. Soul is going to have shades and variances that English, Spanish, French, Greek, Gaelic Irish or any other human language might not be able to capture. So of course, spirit isn’t going to come forward and say, “Hi, I am Mary Lawson. I lived 58 years and died of ovarian cancer.” Those are our spoken words. Spirit will have a whole other set of words to describe that experience.

When spirit speaks they try to exude their personality, show the way they looked and share other vibrant characteristics because in the language of soul, that is their name. Duh! I don’t know why it took my so long to see that. And if I were to describe myself to someone the last thing I would use would be my name. I would tell them about me. Yes, we might say our name, but it doesn’t describe who we are, we are more than a name. Especially a soul; it is so much more vast than just a single name.

Our names often mean something or stand for something and spirit may try to describe that instead because that represents more about them than just the name. For example, Briana means strength. So Briana’s soul may come through demonstrating strength and exuding her character rather than simply saying, “I am Briana.” Granted, I get why this would be easier and better for the scientific community, and for our human brains to understand, but this makes perfect sense to me. I have spent years trying to make sense of why and how spirit communicates the way it does and have had little else stand out as a better answer. This right here makes some solid sense.

An additional puzzle piece to solving this riddle came when I was reading Jodi Picoult’s, Small Great Things. A must read by the way. My fave book of summer. While reading, I came across the quote I opened the blog with and wham-o, brilliance like lightning can strike multiple times and often has to, to sink into this thick skull, there it was again a difference in perception and translation.

For soul, the reason the body stops working isn’t translated exactly to what we might determine as cause of death. It is like the fictional character describes, “We medical geeks make a distinction between the way a person died and the actual change in the body that causes the termination of life.” So does soul. They don’t use the actual words, “heart attack”, “Alzheimer’s”, “Parkinson’s”, “car accident”, etc. They give me the feelings that their body experienced and how their body stopped working and then I have to use those items, just like a medical examiner would, to determine what I think cause of death might have been.

So often a soul tells me that their heart stopped or that they had pressure on their chest and had difficulty getting enough air, they had a mass in their body that spread, they were just plain exhausted, or even their heart was in so much pain they could not continue on in life.  The focus for the soul is on the change in the body that caused the termination of life. Which of course makes sense because the body stopped working and the soul had to leave the body behind. A soul isn’t dead. A soul is still living, so it’s not going to say how it died; it didn’t die. Souls refer to themselves as alive.

We often expect spirit to communicate in our human languages and often knock mediums because spirit doesn’t communicate the way we expect it to. That needs to change. Spirit speaks soul. Spirits are no longer attached to a brain that translates their language into words we understand. They are doing the best they can to speak to a medium – soul translator – to help the living understand souls and what life is like without a body.

Spirit speaks soul. A language with a culture, tradition, and history older than time itself – literally. The words soul uses do not have direct translations to human word. We have to change our construct and expectations of how information is transmitted from spirit to human. Soul is emotion based. Soul is intuition. Soul is how faith feels.

All this time I have tried to define a spiritual medium in a way that makes sense to me and it comes down to this: a spiritual medium is a person who speaks soul. Spiritual mediums are able to understand soul enough to translate the messages they receive into human language. They do the best they can, but of course translations are going to be off from time to time. Of course signals can get crossed. For a medium it really is like communicating across radio waves.

Think about it this way, does your satellite radio lose its signal from time to time? Does your power or cable go out? Yup. Yep. Yeppers. Being a medium isn’t much different from that. They are translating one language to another across radio-like signals trying to help people and soul communicate so that they know they are not ever lost to one another. Don’t blame the medium or criticize their efforts; a great deal of solid information is translated clearly, but it isn’t always exact; no fault to either communicating party. They are all doing the best they can.

My hope is that in understanding that soul and humans speak two different languages that humans start to better understand soul and those who speak it fluently. In truth, we all speak soul, most of us have just forgotten how. The more you try the more fluent you become. And I say, don’t knock it until you try it.

Until next time,

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Sitting on the edge

Sitting on the edge

It’s a Tuesday and I don’t even know where to start. There is just so much, too many feels to hold inside my body.

On the surface and mostly, life is good; really, really good.

And yet; there has been something missing lately.

Again don’t get me wrong the plusses in my life are major. For example, being a mom is my favorite and it is all I ever wanted to be. But my first world problems start when I think ahead. My oldest turns 13 in less than two weeks. I turn 40 in 6 months. What is next for me? What do I do when they are grown? I am technically an adult so what do I want for the rest of my life? Do I keep the job I have for the next 20 years? Do I practice what I preach and follow my dreams?

Answers always come. Once you let the universe know what your heart desires the answers come.

There are no coincidences. Everything happens on purpose – there may not be a reason, but there is purpose even if it doesn’t make sense; even if it’s not fair, there is purpose.

How does all this rambling connect? Well, let me share with you a bit about my past week.

This past week I was in LA for work and we had to introduce ourselves by sharing a hidden talent. Should be easy, no problem right. Well my hidden talent can be seen as adverse or cray-cray. This type of professional setting made it feel unsafe to share mine. But in my heart, this just felt wrong and it left a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach I just couldn’t shake for the next several days.

When I started writing this blog and started my journey to my most authentic self it was to break down walls and live out loud. I am tired of hiding; even if it is part-time. I don’t want to be in a place where I can’t be myself any more. In the life I want for myself I don’t have to keep the biggest part of who I am under wraps. But in reality, I am. That is how I live right now. I know I share here, and in my town, but I go to work and am a totally different person with most people. I stay quiet and keep my head down and just try to get through each day. Accounting, sales and marketing are my day job. Me and numbers; I can hear you laughing through the internet. But I get it, I totally get it.

So with the weight of hiding weighing on my mind, I sent a call out to God; a prayer to the universe: Show me the way. What should I do next? And then I wait because that is what you do. You wait and watch, and maintain your steady path until you hear back otherwise.

As we drove home from LA, we passed 3 different psychic studios (not that I am a psychic by any means) but still it is in the same wheelhouse if we are being technical. It felt like an answer that time and time again I would feel drawn to look up and nearby there was a literal sign for a psychic.

As sign after sign passed it made me feel like the universe and God were whispering back (okay slapping me in the face) take the leap; JUMP. And as the great Ron Swanson says, “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” Thank you, thank you Parks and Rec; Amy Poehler and cast you make my days complete.

Right now, I am not whole-assing anything. I am half-assing a lot of things and not doing a great job. I am hanging on and it seems grand, I am sure to those outside looking in, but really something is missing and there is too much going on, to do one thing well.

I think it is just about time to make a big change. It’s what the universe and God are telling me, too. To do something about following this dream of mine. And I did meet Amy Poehler…’s star on the way home from LA so anything is possible, right? I mean really, we are going to meet one day and she is going to love me, I just know it! I even visited Beverly Hills for the first time and sat in the bar of the Beverly Wilshire and had a cocktail. I mean come on; I am meant for greatness right? That and two different clients texted me the same week to tell me that multiple people referred them to me and one even said I was famous and couldn’t believe I was coming to her house. WALK of FAME watch out I am coming for you! Am I right? Okay, okay I am humble, I promise. I wouldn’t be here writing about choices if I wasn’t.

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Seriously though; I think it’s time to wrap up this journey of mine in a nice little bow and take that final leap and love who I am; my whole-self and truly live out loud. Be who I am where-ever and whenever. No need to hide that I speak to spirit. I have faith. I trust spirit and I trust God. That is enough and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. God has crazy mad love for me and I should love myself that much, too. So, I think it’s just about time to make a change.

I am over here sitting on the edge, looking down and out and contemplating taking that leap while the universe keeps whispering, “jump.” It’s not a matter of if any more; it’s just a matter of when.

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Until next time or until I jump whichever comes first,

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What the what?! Lessons from afourytale

What the what?! Lessons from afourytale

What, the what? That’s right it’s time I revisit and review what I have learned, unlearned, or re-learned this past month or so. I am sure that is happening in your neck of the woods, too as our social climate in the US is an interesting one right now to say the least.

And with that said I start with this lesson…

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That is right. Evil is man-made. We humans create evil through separation and fear. I truly believe our soul is divine love. Our humanness may try to hide or run from that and live a life guided by fear and fear leads to evil, but our core is love.

When we treat each person with compassion and stop and listen to one another and share our stories that is when we find a way to connect to one another. When we do that then we start to move the world in the direction of good. We need to do that with a level head and compassion. Not raised voices and pointed fingers.

Good starts with us. Not our President, not our neighbor, not the news, not the teachers, not our boss…its starts with us. The only one we should be looking at to start a revolution of kindness is ourselves.

When we choose to learn through love then we choose to act with love. Not everyone is going to react in kind, but most will. I see it every single day. You hold the door open for someone or compliment someone and their whole face lights up.

So as much as we can get caught up in the world and be angry, we need to center ourselves and choose love. If we all did this the world would be an amazing place. But it starts with us.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have had a car cut me off and my first reaction is chicken biscuits what the heck is wrong with that person. But three deep breaths later and I am wondering maybe they were lost, maybe they had a bad day, maybe they didn’t see me. If we choose to see through a lense of compassion and love it makes a big difference. Just like Hannah Montana says…

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Come on…some of you must have daughter’s watching the Disney Channel right now… Hannah Montana is back.

And may I digress here just for a second because all the “this is us” talk and TV it has me thinking I am totally enthralled in This is Us on NBC. But what the heck?! They cannot have Jack die in a DUI accident. Really?! Our hero has to go down like that? Please say it ain’t so NBC, please say it ain’t so! I could be wrong and the writers could just have us thinking that, but it would break my heart into itty bitty bits because Jack is my favorite character in a long, long time. He reminds me of Atticus Finch a bit.

Which leads me into the next lesson so I can keep it light and not think about Jack’s fate.

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I relearn this one probably every single week. Maybe even day by day, but my grandfather who passed away 9 years ago used to say, “A good day is not complete without laughter!”

My goals for 2017 even have learn a joke a day on them. It doesn’t happen every day, but I try. Also, did you know you can ask Alexa to tell you joke? She is pretty darn funny. For example, what do call a pig that does karate?

Wait for it…

Wait for it..

A pork chop.

Okay, so I may be the only one that likes corny humor. My all time favorite joke is…

How do you make a tissue dance?

Wait of it…

Wait for it…

You put a little boogie in it.

Hey I am a mom of four under 12 cut me some slack.

For those of you a bit older I found this on the Internet the other day…

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Don’t ask me, I am not a dipshit cross my heart and pinkie swear. But when I did send this to a friend to make him laugh he asked a guy he works with who chews tobacco and the answer was two. Yep, that is right there is answer to every question people. But it’s funny stuff and so is life. So, hold on to your humor and don’t let go, it can get you through a lot of tight jams.

I am going to bring it down to a serious note for a second. My next lesson relates to one of my favorite Amy Poehler quotes, “Great people do things before they are ready.”

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And no this doesn’t have to do with learning how to navigate the myriads of roundabouts our town just installed. Seriously if I wanted to live and drive through windy roundabouts I would have moved to England, but I digress again.

Recently I went to see psychic medium James Van Praagh. He is a medium I have watched and read about since I was in my early teens. When I went to see him he mentioned a workshop coming up nearby and I looked into it. It wasn’t too pricey so I decided to go.

I was nervous out of my mind and scared to walk into a room full of people I didn’t know. But I showed up any way.

It was mind-blowing.

He asked me to come up on stage in a room full of people to give my very first live reading!  On a stage. With an audience, full of people.

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Yep,  he called me up on stage just like I dreamed he would and then I gave a reading. It wasn’t my best because I was nervous out of my mind, but it was life changing. And fun! I used my humor and my bravery together.

So, my advice to you is show up and do the things because your dreams can literally come true. For realsies; I am living proof.

Of course, the girl who got up after me was all of like 25, thin and super-hot so there might always be someone younger and cuter than you right around the corner, but that is why we need humor and love to keep going no matter what.

So keep choosing to learn through love, have fun and laugh along the way and be ready to show up before you are ready because bravery yields results.

Until next time,

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In the beginning…

In the beginning…

I guess my first memory of spirit is when I was two. There was a man in my room. He seemed harmless, but was a tall, balding, thin old man that would come in my room near bedtime each night. Sometimes I would wake up and he would just be there. Even though I could see him clearly I knew he didn’t quite belong. I would go get my mom and beg her to stay and sleep with me. She never saw what I did, but sometimes would stay in my room to calm me back to sleep.

Many years later I would see a picture of my great-grandfather and the mystery of who was in my room each night was solved.

We moved to Spokane when I was three and things got crazier. We happened to live in a neighborhood with a great deal of negative activity. There was a house at the top of the street that a nasty old woman lived in. Funny enough I asked my parents about this house just a few weeks ago and they said it never existed; but I could see it plain as day. It must have been a house that was there before they built our neighborhood. She was not happy to have all the houses nearby and it wreaked havoc. Her negative energy drew in other negative energy.

It was at this house that I was chased to my room regularly by what I would call a demon. It was just a negative male spirit who would appear like a large black dog with red eyes and chase after me down the hall. I know that sounds crazy, but if there were a good sketch artist at hand I could still describe the form precisely.

This is also the house where I had my first dream that relayed to me how I had died in a past life. I watched my lifeless young body be thrown into a pit with other bodies. We were diseased and had to be disposed of after our death. We were all thrown into this pit without a marker. It was somewhere outside of Austria.

Not too long after that we moved to Colorado, I started kindergarten. The bus stop was at the top of our street and after my baby sister was born I often had to walk home by myself. A man with cowboy boots with spurs would often follow me home. He scared me because I didn’t recognize him and I asked him to stay further behind me and to please make the spurs quiet. He obliged like a good cowboy and continued to stay behind me for many many years. He followed me many places and didn’t like when I was left alone.

While all of this seemed normal to me a part of me knew not everyone; especially adults could see what I could see. Many of the kids around me could see things, too even though we didn’t discuss it. I did tell my BFF in kindergarten. But by first grade no other kid that I knew could see the things I could.

We were at recess one day when I turned to my friends and asked whose dad that was on the playground. There was a man in his forties watching the kids play. None of them saw who I was talking about, not one. That is when I decided it was time to stop talking about what I could see to anyone else.

It would be at least ten years before I spoke to anyone besides family about what I could see again.

And that is just the beginning,

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Life breathers

Life breathers

In a world that always has fire-breathing dragons we need life-breathers, too.

Yesterday was like any other day; work steadily flowing in and projects to complete, kids to love and instruct, bickering to manage, meals to prepare, guilt and stress to squelch, and of course the echoes of the outside world that sneak into our lives via radio and TV. But as life does there were some pretty amazing moments yesterday and a wonderful visit from a beautiful, sincere friend. Those are the life breathers, the moments that give my life the pick up that it needs, the moments that matter more than the noise.

Lately the world has been super topsy-turvy. But, somewhere in the world it has always been super topsy-turvy. I am like you though, I feel a bit like my nerve endings are open to the world and when I watch the news or read an article about politics I am left feeling anxious and disappointed and saddened by those people in the world whose poor choices hurt other people.

The thing that gives me hope are life breathers, the moments and people who remind me that there is love, courage, kindness, and just plain good in the world. For me yesterday when things were getting a bit crazy and I had sat at the computer long enough and the kids had bickered long enough, I dragged them on a bike ride. My daughter was less than happy about it to say the least.

As we peddled along, and she sulked along, her brothers began to laugh and smile in the open air. I praised their attitudes and got a, “WOW, mom! You are the worst mom ever!” It stung, it always does. But, then it also made me laugh. If I am getting under her skin and holding her accountable for her behavior I am doing my job. And for a moment I thought about how so many moms and dads, grandpas, grandmas, aunts, and uncles are all trying to do their job giving a child the things they need even when it is tough love so that the world can be filled with people who are compassionate, thoughtful, responsible, and well just plain good.

That in itself was a life breather, that thought filled me with hope for our world, reminded me that there is so much good out there.

We came home and my parents stopped by. They are leaving on a cruise and wanted to give the boys their birthday gifts. Just watching them interact with the boys and the joy everyone had at just being together…that was a life breather. And to top it off, the goofy moment when I was trying to get the Spiderman silly string figured out so that it would spray correctly and accidentally squirted it right at my dad’s face and the ceiling; that was a life breather. We both laughed so hard. It felt good to laugh that hard. Life is funny and that is a life breather. We need to laugh.

We sent them on their way and I filled the dinner table with plates of food I prepared; a home-cooked meal, and that was a life breather. Sitting all together as a family over food I prepared. It felt good to breathe in that life moment. It buoyed me up and reminded me how to let the little things carry the same weight as the big things, maybe even more sometimes. I tend to let my mistakes carry the most weight; in fact sometimes I think my actual body weight is proportional to the guilt I feel about what I mess up in life. It is important to allow the moments of success fill you up, too.

At at the end of the evening my dear, wonderfully vulnerable, honest and real friend came by in her pajamas. I was in heaven. That was such a life breather. She had a terrible, horrible, no good bad day and came to seek a few moments of refuge with little old me; I was almost in tears I felt so honored and thankful. We talked until midnight. Sitting and talking with her reminded me just how much people need other people. We need to be seen and loved and lifted up; it breathes life into us like nothing else can. It puts the fires out when we stop and see one another. When we stop and listen to each other’s stories and offer meaningful exchange, we change the world for the better.

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The bottom line is that life breathers can be little moments of happiness, peace, joy, sanctuary, ah-ha moments, or life breathers can be other people who love us unconditionally or the best part is we can be a life breather for someone else, or everyone else we meet.

Now, I know no one is perfect and thank goodness we aren’t. We would never learn anything or be even the slight bit interesting if everyone were perfect. The point being, we can’t always be life breathers, everyone once in a great while can have a fire-breathing dragon moment, that is just the way it is. But if we are life breathers most of the time what a wonderful world it would be; and what a wonderful world it is because if we really stop and pay attention and drown out the noise of the media saying, “Look here, look here” and we chose to look for the life breathers instead of the fire breathing dragons; I think you will find what I have found, there are way more life breathers in the world; way more.

In a world that always has fire-breathing dragons we need life breathers, too.

Until next time,

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Spirits & Kids

Spirits & Kids

No, no I am not going to be writing about alcohol and children.

I wanted to take a moment and address the question that I get on a n almost daily basis which is “Michelle, my son/daughter sees spirits what should I do? How do I handle this?”

To be honest, I have no idea. (Insert sarcastic font). I know I am a great help and very comforting; it’s a gift and a curse. (End sarcastic font). But when it comes to parenting if you have read the other entries in this blog you know I am flying by the seat of my pants.

Don’t get me wrong; I am a good parent and I do my best, but I make mistakes like everyone else that is the name of this parenting game. The other gotcha is that what works for my kids and my family might not work for your kids and your family. On top of that what works for one child may not work for another child. There is more than one answer and more than one right way to help a child.

Which leads me back to why I have no idea what to say when you ask me how to respond to your child when they are experiencing spirit. There is more than one right answer and you know your own child and family dynamic better than I do. There is not one answer that fits the bill.

What I will try to do is share with you things that have helped me along the way and maybe they will help guide you to finding the answer you seek.

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1. It is my belief that 90% of imaginary friends are not imaginary. This is just a good rule of thumb. When I was two a man would be in my room or around me often. Like any good parent; my parents would often check things out and tell me nothing was there. But I saw someone; someone who was as real to me as they were. Sometimes it is helpful to get more information before you discount what might be possible.

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2. Listen – if your child feels like you are a good sounding board then they will tell you everything. This is a good thing. I know having someone to talk to saved me. It is freeing to have someone to confide in and you definitely feel less alone.

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3. Try not to knock it – you may not want to draw too much attention to it; but don’t tell them it isn’t possible. They truly are experiencing something real if they are telling you about it. They are also scared and trying to navigate through what they are experiencing. If you discount it then they feel as if there is something wrong with them.

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4. Let them know they have the power – Make sure your child knows they have the power to ask any spirit to leave them alone. Children often think they have to listen or are at the will of someone who is older than them. Make sure that they know they have the power to pray for help or even ask a spirit to leave them alone. They are the king/queen of their domain here on Earth and they can ask any spirit to leave them alone for any reason.

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5. Take away the fear – sometimes just letting a child know that most of the spirits that visit them are loved ones or guardians can help make them less afraid of the unknown. If you have pictures of ancestors get them out and let your kids take a look. You might be surprised at who they are able to recognize and tell you about.And this helps them to recognize who they might be seeing helping them to be less afraid.

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6. Love them – you know your child, your belief system of your family best. Follow your intuition and it will guide you to the right things to say and do for your child.

These tips helped me and they are things I use with my own children. Hopefully this gives those of you that have asked me this question additional guidance.

Until next time,

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Signs from Heaven

Signs from Heaven

Do you ever hit every single red light? I am not talking just in one trip out, but continuously for a week.

Have you been out and about and swore that you saw a passed loved one only to take a second look and it was not them at all? The person didn’t even really look like them all that much, but when you saw them the first time they were a dead ringer.

Do objects in your house, like your keys, go “misplaced” even when you know you put them in specific spot?

Are you frequently changing your lightbulbs? Or do you have lightbulbs that pop?

Do you catch a whiff of a loved ones perfume, cologne, or cigarette smoke from time to time?

Are you electronics always on the fritz?

Do you ever get strong cravings for things that someone that passed loved, but you didn’t really ever like?

Do sightings of birds, insects or specific skylines catch your eye and you just know that your loved one made that appear just for you?

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Are you constantly finding specific objects like feathers, buttons, or coins?

These are all common signs from the other side. When I say they are constantly communicating with us; that is not an understatement. I have come across all kinds of signs both through readings and personally.

I have lost all four grandparents and miss them deeply. One of my grandmothers suffered with Alzheimer’s for years before she passed. She raised 6 kids and even though I only have 4, I long for her guidance all the time. For the first three years that we moved to Gilroy and I was carting around my 4 and doing school drop off I would cry once the house was quiet because I just missed her so much and would send my questions to the heavens up to her, but I did not get an answer. I know she was listening; and even answering, but my own pain caused me to miss her signs.

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I borrowed this pic Aunt Lisa – I hope that is okay, but I thought this was a perfect picture of Grandma

I have been able to open my heart more and more the last two years and with guidance from other mediums have been able to connect to my grandmother more and more. What is odd is I feel her all around me now. But it started with my unusual craving for Diet Dr. Pepper. If you know me I have never liked diet soda. I would drink anything but. Lately however, I have to have Diet Dr. Pepper. I think it is her way of telling me this little drink helped her cope day to day and it can help me, too. I am a bit of a caffeine junky.

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I am also constantly craving Doublemint gum. This was her gum of choice. She always had it. It is not my favorite gum, but I feel the need to have some on hand all the time and no other gum tastes as good as that gum. I have been fighting my weight gain and I think this is her way of saying have some gum on hand it helps.

There are so many ways that our loved ones try to come through to help us and guide us. They often literally whisper in your ear to help your intuition know the best choice for your soul. If your gut is telling you something it is wise to listen. If you feel something and can’t explain it – you just know – that usually means something.

There are many ways that signs can be discounted or explained away. That is the easy part. Believing is the hard part. Trusting in something you can’t see; believing in what you know is true even when you can’t prove it. That is what is hard for us; accepting something is real without being able to prove it. Believe anyway.

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Spirits have ways of saying hello through numbers. If you are awoken at the same time every night or constantly look at your clock every day at the same time that is your loved one saying hello. If your phone seems possessed and you even receive strange calls and no one is on the other line, your loved one has called to say hello.

Dreams are a common way our spirit loved ones connect to us. Even if the dream doesn’t always make sense and we can’t remember what is said, but everything else about the dream feels so real then you connected with them. We are so open in our sleep and they can reach us a little more easily than when we are awake.

If you aren’t seeing these signs, it doesn’t mean they aren’t there. It may mean you aren’t ready to see them yet; your pain and grief can block some of these things from sinking in. Your brain is wired to protect yourself from pain and so it creates blocks so that our emotions are safe guarded. Your loved ones are around you. You are a big part of their heaven.

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Your loved ones are just a thought away. If you think of them; they receive the call and are right there for you. Always.

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I would love to hear about the signs that you have received from loved ones and I know that sharing them will help others, too. So share in the comments or on my FB page. I can’t wait to hear your stories.

Sincerely,

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My side of a reading.

My side of a reading.

When I think about readings and how to describe them my first image is of a fingerprint. No reading is ever exactly alike. Each soul is unique, each message is different and I never know what to expect.

I am sure that some of you have been to or at least seen a reading via TV. There are numerous TV shows about and even led by mediums now. One thing to keep in mind is just as every reading is distinct so is every medium. There are commonalities sure; but it is my experience that each has their own style and precise set of gifts. Each has their own medium fingerprint if you will.

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Many of you have asked what a reading is like for me. I will do my best to explain my side of a reading.

Some people have asked me things like do I need objects or pictures to do a reading. Some have asked if I go into a trance or deep meditation to do a reading. For me I don’t need any objects or pictures. I do not go into a trance; I just open up my heart and quiet my mind. For me seeing spirit is like breathing. I don’t have think about it; I just do it. I have to think and work hard NOT to see spirit.

Spirit is emotional. Trying to rationalize with spirit is like trying to redirect a tantrum throwing two-year-old; possible but a lot of work. If I just feel and let my intuition (a.k.a. soul) guide me then communication opens up.

But let me back up for a minute. Yesterday I talked about how at 15 I knew what spirit wanted me to do. At fifteen a line began to form. I know that seems strange, but there is literally a line of spirits that was and is waiting to speak with their loved ones through me.

Some people wonder how with almost zero marketing and very little effort I can have a side business that keeps me busy doing this. Spirit is leading the charge. They are organizing this from the other side.

I let spirit lead. What I mean by that is that I don’t call out to spirits that a client wants me to connect with to get started; I am present to do the reading because spirit led me there. So just as I am helping the living here to have some peace, I am also helping spirit to have peace and deliver the messages that they are so desperately trying to communicate to their loved ones. It almost always matches up that who the client wants to communicate with is who comes through first.

Spirit is all around us. Spirit is constantly trying to communicate. People often think that because they can not sense a loved one’s spirit that they are not around. That isn’t the case. We cause the block.

Our soul and hearts seal up and harden to create a wall that not even spirit can access. The loss of a loved one causes grief and unexplainable pain. Our hearts and souls create the wall to cope and continue to move forward. Allowing spirit access means we have to open up emotionally for them to get through and often grief can prohibit that. So spirit is there; we cause the block.

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At the start of the reading I just open up to spirit that is present and I let them tell me who is going to communicate first and then I just become the translator. I spew out everything I am given. Sometimes it is images. Sometimes spirits are chatty and I am literally repeating everything I hear. Sometimes it is actual emotion – I feel the body’s death and can relay that and any other emotions that spirit sends me. I can see, hear, feel, and smell spirit. That’s right I can smell spirit.

Believe me, I am scientific in nature, I know that a great deal of this seems impossible. Rest assured that what I have experienced over the last two years is anything but. Spirit has shown me that they can communicate anything from telling a loved one that they should slow down they are going to get a ticket to letting me know the specific way they communicate with their loved one or how that loved one communicates with them – even when it is something as that sounds as crazy as a pile of rocks. They know what they want on their tombstone and can point it out – and this was in Chinese writing – I shocked myself when I picked this out of several Chinese characters correctly. Or they can tell me the item that the client has that belongs to them in detail. Or they know about family dynamics and weigh in on what might be happening. Things I could not possibly know about before hand and sometimes not always in agreement with what the client was hoping to hear. Spirit has their own agenda when they communicate and they deliver the messages we NEED to hear; not always the ones we were expecting or wanting to hear.

For years, I tried to explain what was happening to me or around me. As a child I just accepted that I was communicating with spirit and I was truly happiest then. As I got older I started to wonder if I was delusional or maybe just so good at reading people that I could actually read their minds and feelings; but then things I would say would not register with them at all until weeks later when they would find out what I was talking about through a relative or even something that spirit said would happen did in fact take place. So several years ago I stopped trying to explain it and went back to accepting it just like I did when I was a child. I can not even begin to tell you the peace, the joy, the wonders that the universe seems to deliver to me when I just believe and let spirit and God guide the way. It is quite simply miraculous. There isn’t any explanation other than the impossible is possible.

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So a reading is just me opening up to spirit – I tune them out most of the day because they are literally everywhere – and then I let them start communicating. I relay everything that comes through, I am just a translator, and then I leave that with the clients I am conducting the reading for hoping that it brings them peace.

It is really something to see how excited spirit is to connect. They are always grateful. They don’t always make perfect sense right away, but 99% of what they say seems to be dead on from what I hear back from my past and current clients. I am always in awe.

What is also fascinating to me is that spirit is teaching me as I go through this as well. They are often delivering messages directly to me through readings; answering my thoughts and questions.

When we open up our hearts and follow our soul (a.k.a. intuition) there are no limits to what is possible.

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Wishing you a blessed day,

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Life after death

Life after death

 

Life after death…

Heaven…

These beliefs have been a part of the human experience as far back as Egyptian times. And yet there are as many non-believers as there are believers around the world. While these ideas are still shrouded in skepticism there was a recent study conducted regarding the notion of our conscious (the scientific word for our soul) and how long it lasts after death.

In an article published by the Telegraph in October of 2014 by Sarah Knapton scientists surveyed individuals who suffered cardiac arrest. 140 of these patients were surveyed after being resuscitated and they experienced conscious awareness for up to three minutes after they were presumed dead. It warranted enough scientific evidence to continue this study.

It seems my entire existence has been a study of life after death. My first experience with spirit was when I was two. A man would be in my room around bed time or even when I awoke in the middle of the night. My parents couldn’t see him, but to me he was as real as they were.

At three I began to dream about death. My first dream culminated with my lifeless six-year-old body being tossed into a mass grave as I looked on from up above. While that body was not the one my soul was currently living in; I knew it was my body just the same.

These experiences continued throughout my childhood. I would be followed, approached, and awakened by spirits my whole life. I would sense someone’s death before it happened. This was something I did not discuss. You learn early that these are not ideas and experiences people share. You learn early that you are alone in what you can see and experience.

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But I never stopped paying attention to spirit and became obsessed with ghost stories, mediums and I guess in a way death. To me I was closer to spirit than I was most people.

At fifteen I knew what spirit wanted me to do with this gift. I knew what God wanted me to do with this gift; what He had been preparing me for. I was not ready. In fact, it would be many years before I was ready to begin to deliver the messages from spirit to their loved ones.

It was nearly 7  and a half years ago that I did my very first reading. Everything about the experience changed me in many ways. The doubt and feeling that I was crazy would subside substantially. And even more so only a few months later when I saw a medium at a health fair. I sat in the chair across from him and his first words to me were, “You are a medium. You are supposed to being doing what I am doing, but on a much larger scale.”

And so my journey began. Two years ago I began to book readings with people so that I could deliver messages from spirit. Over the next few blog entries I will share some of what I have learned with you. It is what spirit wants me to do. I am being guided yet again to share more and reach more people.

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Heaven is all around us; we are a part of heaven. Spirits are around all the time; everywhere. I see them with you in the mall. I see them at their graves comforting loved ones. I see them shopping with you at the grocery store, in movie theaters, on the sidewalk, in the park, in the front yard, at church, there isn’t a place I haven’t seen a spirit. Spirit easily moves in and out of our lives on a regular basis. After over a hundred readings I can say with certainty that they tuck you in at night; they are at your weddings, parties, holiday gatherings. They gain energy from your joy and love and can literally feel your pain and sorrow.

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The ability to communicate with spirit is a gift, not one that should be taken lightly. It is something we are all capable of to varying degrees. My particular gift allows me to give spirit a voice – I speak soul if you will. I do this for them and for God. God allows me to deliver these messages. It is through Him that this is possible.

Am I still scared to share. Yes. I am still worried that people will look at these writings with closed hearts and minds. Yes. But it is spirit that is asking me to open up even more and I trust in God and in spirit that sharing these experiences will help others a great deal.

Heaven is all around us.

Life after death exists.

For me there are only more answers and hopefully for you, too.

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The other side of a reading…guest post by Katrina

The other side of a reading…guest post by Katrina

My friend, Katrina, is to put it mildly…amazing. She recently attended a writing retreat where she was asked to write about a life changing experience/person and she chose to write about a reading she had with me. I thought it might be interesting for you to read about a reading from the other side of the table. The following is a guest post by Katrina.

katrinaI’m sitting at my kitchen table, photographs splayed out across its scratched wooden laminate surface. My friend Michelle sits opposite me, furrowing her brow and deep in thought. If anyone had come across us,we looked like we were in the middle of a scrapbooking jam.

When Michelle speaks, it’s clear we are not creating a collage from my photos.

“Your uncle really loves this photo. He wants you to remember him like this. He was really happy on his wedding day and he’s proud of his beautiful head of hair.”

I laugh as I look at the 1977 photo of him with a beautiful head of blonde hair, wearing a white tuxedo with bellbottom flared trousers; I stop as I remember the last image I saw of his head as he lay in his coffin at the funeral home: shiny, cold, and rigid.

Disbelief claws its way into my mind but quickly dissipates as Michelle goes on to tell me more messages my uncle has for me, ranging from comical to mundane to knowing some of my deeply personal and never before verbalized thoughts.

The week before Michelle and I were having lunch when the topic of ghosts came up. She says she believes in them. I say I don’t, but I press her for more information out of curiosity. She confesses she has been able to see, hear, and talk to spirits since she can remember. She’s never told me this before and I am flattered she trusts me with such a vulnerable confession. Michelle goes on, telling me she has learned to switch it off and would prefer to live her life without that being a part of it. I ask her some more questions and we say goodbye.

Two days later Michelle calls me to say that our lunch conversation temporarily opened her to spirit communication and there’s a man who is adamant he speak to me. He gives no other details other than his appearance – a full head of blonde hair and some bellbottom pants. Those details don’t ring any bells in my consciousness and I tell her than man must be there for someone else. I hear her pause, then say, “He didn’t want to have to show me this, but he’s showing me a tree was involved in his death.”

Tears fill my eyes as I instantly connect this is my Uncle LaDon, who died unexpectedly in a freak accident two years ago when I was six months pregnant with my daughter. He had been pruning a large tree when a massive branch fell at just the right angle to his unprotected head, killing him instantly.

I rarely speak of him so Michelle has never heard me talk of his death. I carry grief from losing him and guilt from not seeing him more the last time I had the chance ; those feelings are still fresh and cut me at my core.

As I look back across Michelle across my kitchen table, I’m struck by how “normal” she looks but what incredible things are coming from her mouth. Good friends since starting graduate school together four years prior, I see her as my peer in many ways – a mom, an elementary school teacher, a wife, and a fun friend to play Bunco with. But she clearly has an amazing gift as well.

Michelle delivers messages that evening from my uncle that validate our close bond, that tell me he’s with me all the time, that he’s happy in his new existence, and he loves me. The guilt I had previously carried in my soul dissipates, with an almost physical feeling of weight lifting off me. I still feel sad I can’t see him, but my grief is transformed knowing he’s still with me.

Michelle nervously looks at me across the table as we finish the reading and says, “I never know if I’m just imagining all this stuff or not.” I am in awe of what she is able to do and wonder how she can possibly doubt herself after being spot on about every single thing she said to me over the past two hours. My whole belief system has just been challenged and awakened in the most significant way it ever could be. In my heart I know this is just the beginning of her journey to embrace her gifts, continuing to transform my life and changing the lives of others for years to come.

Thank you, Katrina for sharing your experience.

Until next time,

Michelle