What happened when I chose faith over fear

What happened when I chose faith over fear

Recently I was asked to speak at event organized by one of my favorite business owners, Ahnna Goossen. She owns Yoga Bella and the Acupuncture and Herbal Clinic in Gilroy. The evening was a beautiful event that included Qi Gong instruction (there is a class each week at Yoga Bella) and sound healing with the amazing Dallas at S.I.M.M. If you have not experienced a sound bath you are missing out. There are classes at Yoga Bella every other Tuesday with Dallas and I highly recommend trying one. The night ended with a quick little Q & A with yours truly.  I have linked to Yoga Bella and S.I.M.M.’s webpages above so you can check each of them out. Ahnna will be doing a monthly workshop showcasing different speakers and healers. I for one, can’t wait for the next one.

I thought I might share here some of what I shared that night.

For years, and I mean decades, I literally ignored my calling. I hung up on it and blocked it repeatedly before I shifted my perspective and allowed me to become who I was meant to be.

That perspective shift came when I decided to choose faith over fear. I decided to listen to the whispers of my own heart and be my authentic self. I decided to write, and I became a truth-teller. In becoming a truth-teller, I had to tell the truth about what I saw and felt around me.

In deciding to tell the truth, it allowed me to open up and listen to an eight-year-old spirit boy who told me that I was meant to help other spirits like him. And that led me down a path where I decided to believe what I knew was true about God and embrace that He doesn’t make mistakes, he built me this way on purpose with purpose, and I am His vehicle. I deliver the messages He wants me to provide. And that has led me to where I am today. I have chosen faith over fear.

Does that mean that I am going to know what comes next instantly? No.

Does that mean I am going to be the best at what I do right away? No. But with hard work and dedication, I can be great at what I do. And so can you.

Does that mean everything will be perfect every single day? No.

But it is worth it to live outside of your comfort zone and believe that you can do hard things. Believe that you can have the life you want. The rewards outweigh the negative experiences. I can speak from experience on that. There is good, hard, harsh, ugly, and incredible, amazing, miraculous, joy all in the same life.

How do we choose faith over fear?

We listen to our feelings. That doesn’t we mean we ignore logic, it just means we trust what we know and believe to be true in our hearts. The more you listen, the louder that voice gets.

We do things afraid because fear is a liar that will keep us small.

We believe in the impossible. Do you know how many times I have heard that I was crazy, that I am going to hell, that it is impossible to talk to spirit, I have lost count and stopped counting?

Sometimes we want validation before we leap. And like my good friend Heather says, “Validation is only for parking baby!” She might not add the baby, but she is feisty and fun, so I added it for her. We can’t wait for validation, we have to believe those whispers in our heart and have faith we know what we know for a purpose. We feel what we feel for a purpose.

I read something Bob Goff said, which was, “God isn’t surprised we want more confirmation. He just hopes we don’t get stuck waiting for it.”

It is okay to be looking for that confirmation and to appreciate it when we get it, but we can’t sit around waiting, stuck, doing nothing that serves our purpose until we get the affirmation we need. And most of the time we just have to believe we know what we know and that is good enough to take the next step.

We also tend to believe that there is a right path and a wrong path. The truth is there is only one path, a path of life. We have free will and get to decide what we do next, but just because we take the long way or make a mistake doesn’t make it wrong, we are learning along the way. As long as we are not hurting ourselves or others, we are on the right track. That is the only genuinely wrong thing we can do; hurt another soul. And when we do that we have to do what we can to make it right. But I digress. There are nine hundred billion million (yes, I am aware that is not a real number) ways to get from point A to point B in life, and the joy is in the journey. When we surrender and have fun with not knowing what is next, but just allowing ourselves to do the next best thing moment to moment then we usually end up right where we need to be precisely when we are supposed to be there.

Here is what happened when I decided to choose faith over fear and surrender my control. I learned that

  • Heaven is all around us, not some distant far off place. We are a part of heaven.
  • Spirit delivers messages to their loved ones in a myriad of ways and is continually speaking to us whether we think we are hearing them or not. Signs are all around us; you just have to believe in them.
    We are built to understand one another. Soul has a language all its’ own. A soul doesn’t need words to communicate, and that means that our spirit loved ones can communicate with any living thing to get our attention. They are energy, and they can use that energy to connect with us in a multitude of ways. It also means our souls are communicating with one another here. Just because we are in a body doesn’t mean our souls stop talking.
  • Love never dies. We don’t die. Our bodies stop working, but our souls go on and on and on.
  • I can do hard things, and my purpose is to be my most authentic self no matter what. Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.
  • I am stronger than I ever thought possible.

What happened when I started working for spirit; I witnessed miracles. Are there tough sessions? Yes. Are their clients I can’t help? Yes. But like I said before the positive experiences, the lessons learned, far outweigh the negative.

  • My client Donna was able to understand why her daughter’s car crashed the night she died, and finally, this last year visit her daughter’s grave on her 26th birthday and play her favorite song “When the lights go down in the city” and know that her daughter heard her. Donna knew that she could reach her daughter anytime she wanted. Something she hadn’t done in all the years since her daughter passed.
  • Helped my client Lauren connect with and grieve her mother. In fact, her healing led to her building a new business this past year. If you haven’t heard about Cranes for Kristina, you need to check it out. Her Business Facebook page is here. Lauren turned her pain into hope in the form of her beautiful origami cranes and is changing the world every single day she is out in it breathing.
  • My friend Katrina didn’t believe in ghosts. She believed in heaven, but not that spirit was here communicating with us. While we were in grad school, her uncle started visiting me. When I told her what he looked like she didn’t believe it was him until I said, “He didn’t what to tell me this, but he said a tree was involved in his death.” And having never told me about her uncle LaDon being hit and killed by a falling tree branch she nearly dropped the phone.

Fear will bind you to believe in only what you can see. It will keep you in other people’s comfort zones, and there is so much more to life than what we can see and the societal norms we are bound by. My wish for you is that you find your center, your truth-telling, authentic badass, self. That this more profound connection to yourself and your faith lead you to follow your dreams and the life you want to live. That it guides you to a more fulfilling understanding of life and allows you to surrender to living in the moment and making the choices you know to be best for you. Choosing faith over fear leads you to become who you always knew you were.

Until next time,

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My side of a reading.

My side of a reading.

When I think about readings and how to describe them my first image is of a fingerprint. No reading is ever exactly alike. Each soul is unique, each message is different and I never know what to expect.

I am sure that some of you have been to or at least seen a reading via TV. There are numerous TV shows about and even led by mediums now. One thing to keep in mind is just as every reading is distinct so is every medium. There are commonalities sure; but it is my experience that each has their own style and precise set of gifts. Each has their own medium fingerprint if you will.

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Many of you have asked what a reading is like for me. I will do my best to explain my side of a reading.

Some people have asked me things like do I need objects or pictures to do a reading. Some have asked if I go into a trance or deep meditation to do a reading. For me I don’t need any objects or pictures. I do not go into a trance; I just open up my heart and quiet my mind. For me seeing spirit is like breathing. I don’t have think about it; I just do it. I have to think and work hard NOT to see spirit.

Spirit is emotional. Trying to rationalize with spirit is like trying to redirect a tantrum throwing two-year-old; possible but a lot of work. If I just feel and let my intuition (a.k.a. soul) guide me then communication opens up.

But let me back up for a minute. Yesterday I talked about how at 15 I knew what spirit wanted me to do. At fifteen a line began to form. I know that seems strange, but there is literally a line of spirits that was and is waiting to speak with their loved ones through me.

Some people wonder how with almost zero marketing and very little effort I can have a side business that keeps me busy doing this. Spirit is leading the charge. They are organizing this from the other side.

I let spirit lead. What I mean by that is that I don’t call out to spirits that a client wants me to connect with to get started; I am present to do the reading because spirit led me there. So just as I am helping the living here to have some peace, I am also helping spirit to have peace and deliver the messages that they are so desperately trying to communicate to their loved ones. It almost always matches up that who the client wants to communicate with is who comes through first.

Spirit is all around us. Spirit is constantly trying to communicate. People often think that because they can not sense a loved one’s spirit that they are not around. That isn’t the case. We cause the block.

Our soul and hearts seal up and harden to create a wall that not even spirit can access. The loss of a loved one causes grief and unexplainable pain. Our hearts and souls create the wall to cope and continue to move forward. Allowing spirit access means we have to open up emotionally for them to get through and often grief can prohibit that. So spirit is there; we cause the block.

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At the start of the reading I just open up to spirit that is present and I let them tell me who is going to communicate first and then I just become the translator. I spew out everything I am given. Sometimes it is images. Sometimes spirits are chatty and I am literally repeating everything I hear. Sometimes it is actual emotion – I feel the body’s death and can relay that and any other emotions that spirit sends me. I can see, hear, feel, and smell spirit. That’s right I can smell spirit.

Believe me, I am scientific in nature, I know that a great deal of this seems impossible. Rest assured that what I have experienced over the last two years is anything but. Spirit has shown me that they can communicate anything from telling a loved one that they should slow down they are going to get a ticket to letting me know the specific way they communicate with their loved one or how that loved one communicates with them – even when it is something as that sounds as crazy as a pile of rocks. They know what they want on their tombstone and can point it out – and this was in Chinese writing – I shocked myself when I picked this out of several Chinese characters correctly. Or they can tell me the item that the client has that belongs to them in detail. Or they know about family dynamics and weigh in on what might be happening. Things I could not possibly know about before hand and sometimes not always in agreement with what the client was hoping to hear. Spirit has their own agenda when they communicate and they deliver the messages we NEED to hear; not always the ones we were expecting or wanting to hear.

For years, I tried to explain what was happening to me or around me. As a child I just accepted that I was communicating with spirit and I was truly happiest then. As I got older I started to wonder if I was delusional or maybe just so good at reading people that I could actually read their minds and feelings; but then things I would say would not register with them at all until weeks later when they would find out what I was talking about through a relative or even something that spirit said would happen did in fact take place. So several years ago I stopped trying to explain it and went back to accepting it just like I did when I was a child. I can not even begin to tell you the peace, the joy, the wonders that the universe seems to deliver to me when I just believe and let spirit and God guide the way. It is quite simply miraculous. There isn’t any explanation other than the impossible is possible.

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So a reading is just me opening up to spirit – I tune them out most of the day because they are literally everywhere – and then I let them start communicating. I relay everything that comes through, I am just a translator, and then I leave that with the clients I am conducting the reading for hoping that it brings them peace.

It is really something to see how excited spirit is to connect. They are always grateful. They don’t always make perfect sense right away, but 99% of what they say seems to be dead on from what I hear back from my past and current clients. I am always in awe.

What is also fascinating to me is that spirit is teaching me as I go through this as well. They are often delivering messages directly to me through readings; answering my thoughts and questions.

When we open up our hearts and follow our soul (a.k.a. intuition) there are no limits to what is possible.

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Wishing you a blessed day,

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Pieces…

“Getting found almost always means being lost for awhile” – Anne Lamott

Lately there have been so many ideas whirling and twirling in my head it has been difficult to get them down on paper.

I feel like there are all these pieces of me that have been so spread apart I am not sure how to hold them all together.

Starting this new side business is definitely taking its toll.

I think if it were just a side business and not being an interpreter for the dead it might not be so difficult. For one, you sound loony toons just saying that. Secondly, the living expect so much of the dead. Just because they have died doesn’t make them any different from when they were living. Their soul is still their soul. Also sometimes their message is just that they are still around there may be nothing more than that and it may not be as profoundly said as you hope it will be.

The living also expect so much from me. They expect me to be an all-knowing, all-seeing guru that can tell them whatever it is they want to know. I am human after all and I am just the messenger.

Seeing the dead can definitely make others skittish around you. Most people treat me the same, but some people avoid me or worse – question my character and authenticity.

This piece of me definitely carries a thin glossy line of web to all the other pieces of me. Having such an interesting relationship with death has always made me a tad bit different from other people.

I have a fierce love for my family and would much rather be home with them than anywhere else in the whole wide world. And to say that I am an introvert is an understatement. My time spent with other people is mostly spent in observation mode. I always feel like an outsider.

It’s difficult to explain how doing this work makes me feel. Helping other people in this unique way is indescribable. At the same time, as I help each person I feel like I absorb some of their pain and grief. Lately this weight has left me lonely and lost. I have also been sick so that could be part of why the last three weeks have seemed difficult as well.

When I started doing this, I listened to my heart and acted on intuition. I have continued down that road – running after people to give them business cards because a spirit asks me to and opening up to someone and offering a reading because their deceased loved one haunts my thoughts and dreams. This kind of brave is so very far out of my comfort zone.

I think just the load that I am carrying is weighing me down. I am grateful for this load and how I am able to provide for my family and that I have an abundance so that I can help others. Yet still, sometimes I just feel a little lost, a little shattered and less put together than I would like to be.

Being a medium is what I was born to do; I know it – there are just days when my skin doesn’t feel thick enough, my heart doesn’t feel strong enough, and somehow I wind up swimming in grief wishing for a soft place to land where someone will understand what it is like to talk to the dead just for a few minutes. Where someone will know how to help me and guide me…and I will feel just a little less lost.

I guess the best thing to do is take the advice of someone who has been in my shoes…

“If you let people break your spirit and detour you from your path, then you have not been true to yourself or those you’re here to touch, those who believe in you.”
― Allison DuBois

or maybe just from someone I think is a great writer and speaker…

Brene

 

or my daughter’s current favorite person Taylor Swift and just shake it off because the haters gonna hate.

Sincerely,

 

– not a jackass whisperersignature

Allowed…

Allowed…
teresa caputo
Teresa Caputo – Long Island Medium
allison dubois
Allison Dubois

 

James Van Praagh
James Van Praagh

What do all three of these people have in common?

If you said mediums, you are correct. But what is more important is that these individuals have paved the way for someone like me to be more accepted by society. I know a great deal of non-believers and believe me that is what kept me from talking about what I could do for years. I thought people would think I was crazy; they would say horrible things about me.

I am sure that is coming, but so far when I talk about how I am able to communicate with the deceased it is well received. I am grateful to the three mediums pictured above; they have paved the way for this gift to be more allowed in society and more accepted. I am grateful that I can be myself and tell others what I experience.

I never would have thought that I would be trying to figure out how to start my own “practice”, if you will, so that I could do readings for others, but here I am taking the first steps at creating my own business. Sounds like crazy talk, but it will be a reality. Sometimes we are given a gift and we have to honor that gift even if we are afraid of where that will take us.

Baby steps into an unknown future. I am scared and excited all at the same time. I also like how “allowed” sounds a lot like “out loud”. Nice that those two go hand in hand.

We can do hard things

We can do hard things,

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