My first reading.

This is a story that is told multiple times a week. Details are omitted to scrunch it into the allotted time. It is the story I tell before each reading; the story of how I got started doing readings for other people. I want to share it here in its entirety because I think just once it needs to be written down with all the details in place.

It was a regular day like any other. I was in grad school and had made a great friend. The kind that you meet and you already feel like you have known each other a hundred years. We had most of our classes together. We talked about lots of things; I had my first child in grad school and she had been teaching longer than I; married longer than I. She always had the best advice; but one day our conversation turned to one of her students. A student that had leukemia. An eight-year-old little boy whom she tutored. I had no idea when we started talking about Matthew the impact he would have on my life.

As my friend shared her worries and experience with Matthew and his family, I shared more about my gift with her. Opening something inside of myself I had held so close. Trying to share what little wisdom I had to bring comfort to the unthinkable situation that was facing this family, facing Matthew.

Matthew gained his angel wings in July of 2007.

A few months later my friend told me that I should share my gift with this family. That they needed my help.

Crazy town; I told her. Crazy people do things like that. I didn’t think I could help and I was sure that if I did everyone would think I was crazy. No one can talk to spirits for real. The things that happened to me were just random and I wasn’t about to do them out loud in front of the world. I played small and it suited me just fine. I had a sweet little life at this point. Two kids and a new job; I was moving forward into my sweet, quiet life comfortably.

So, I told her no. I thought that would be the end of it.

Sometimes you don’t hear when God is laughing at you. Chuckling at the notion that you think you have some control over what you are meant to do.

God and Matthew had different plans for me. Matthew was helping Him put those plans into motion.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear

Matthew began to show up everywhere. He was in my car; my kitchen, woke me up at night because I kept having the same dream. I would reach out for a tombstone that wasn’t there and carved into the rock were symbols I didn’t recognize. Each night I would trace them with my finger drawing symbols into a phantom tombstone.

Finally, I asked Matthew what he wanted. He had a family that loved him, why in the world was he spending all this time around me?

He asked me to talk to his mom. He asked me to help his family. Said he had something for his sister and turned into a butterfly and fluttered away.

Well, crap.

God knew if He sent me a child I would listen. God knew if He sent me a small boy that I would say yes. That with shaky legs, sweaty hands and my stomach in knots I would drive 40 miles into unknown territory and try to help this boy reunite with his family.

Arriving made everything worse. Encountering the eyes of this mother and father who had lost half their hearts and a whole child to Heaven was almost unbearable. What if this didn’t work? What if I was crazy? What if I just heard and saw things that didn’t really exist? I started praying in my head like a crazy woman. Dear God, please let me help this family. God please let this bring them some comfort. God please let this be real. God please don’t let this family down.

It took a good twenty minutes to get comfortable. Twenty minutes of small talk and looking at a few pictures. Matthew showed up right away, but I had never seen energy move so fast. I couldn’t slow him down enough to hear what he was saying. And then something shifted.

I started to hear him clear as day. I started to see him in his blue striped shirt and the wide grin expand across his face. He told his family about things he did in the house to let them know he was around. He described the item that he was buried with since I would have no idea what it was or how to pronounce what it was called. Matthew relayed to me the item he wanted his sister to have. He shared things he hoped for his family and wanted for the future.

We drove to his grave because of my dream. I had chills over my whole body as I stepped into the reality of that dream. Stepped into a solid, tangible reality I had only seen in dreams. I explained to them about the symbols Matthew wanted on his tombstone. His dad drew multiple samples on a napkin; skeptical trying to prove this was really happening; only one set of symbols represented what I had verbalized to them. Without hesitation, I pointed to the second set of symbols. The ones I had traced into stone night after night in my dream. Those were the ones. The ones Matthew wanted on his stone.

Heaven isn't some far off place. Heaven is all around us. You are a part of your loved ones heaven. Spirit is constantly sending signs to us to let us know they are there.

Then a little dog showed up and of course it had been theirs. Of course, that dog was with their son playing chase and being a constant companion.

That day changed my life. That day put me on a course with God’s plan for me. It unfurled my path; a path I had refused to step onto for 15 years.

When I was fifteen a line of spirits formed around me. A line. They would reach out one by one; tell me I was going to help them and I would shake it off. It couldn’t be. How could I tell people out loud this is me? I talk to dead people, seriously? I couldn’t handle the criticism. I wasn’t ready.

I wasn’t ready that day either and it would be about five years after this first reading for strangers that I would help other people out loud. Matthew never gave up. He would visit from time to time and nudge me down this path. Encourage me to keep the channels open; to pay attention to spirit.

When I first started giving readings he would be there with me. Cheering me on. Letting me know I was right where I was supposed to be. Eventually he handed those reigns off to my loved ones, but from time to time he still peeks in; still says hello with that wide grin across his face and his head tilted slightly to the right. Always dressed in the latest trends and his jet-black hair just a bit spiky in front. It always makes me smile.

Spirit speaks to us through a variety of ways. If you believe a sign came from a loved one; than it did.

Matthew helped me get to where I am today. Matthew taught me how to listen. He helped me understand how this gift would work. Reaffirmed that as much as I am here to help the living that I work for spirit. That I am here to translate the messages of spirit to their families. When I give a reading I always let spirit lead. Spirit starts with their agenda, their messages; and those messages may not always be what their loved one may want to hear, but without fail they are always what their loved one needs to hear. Without fail loved ones end up finding a way to make sense out of the words and pictures that spirit gives to me. Spirit finds a way to make me feel both physically and emotionally what they want me to translate. God always leading the way; allowing this miracle.

I hope that what I do; that each reading pays Matthew back somehow. That he knows that this is how I say thank you. That I am forever grateful for his determination and patience. That it is not lost on me that a boy, not yet nine, changed my life in such a profound and wonderful way. Thank you, Matthew and thank you sweet family who welcomed me into their lives unsure of what that day would hold. Thank you all for changing my life and being the first step on my journey. Thank you for sharing your son with me and with the world.

Thank you,

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What I have learned about Heaven…

One of my clients emailed me this week and asked:

What is your take [on Heaven]?  And what have you learned from being the mediator for spirits?

To answer that question, it is important to get a little back story. I think it is important to understand the source behind my answer.

Becoming a medium wasn’t in my lifelong goals and dreams. It became something I am extremely proud of. It is a gift I hold dear. It has also become my dream to help as many people as possible. To be the best medium that I can be. It is work I take seriously and hold in the highest regard. In my youth; however, it was something I spoke of little and felt more comfortable keeping to myself. 

Now, the road wasn’t an easy one and I often took the path of least resistance in the beginning; I am human after all. But, God asks more of us. God asks us to follow Him into the dark and help shine his light unto the world. I know that is what God has asked of me.

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When I decided to share my gift with the world I was terrified. In fact, I went to see my therapist and discussed this at length with her. In her wise way she told me that the path was already clear and I just needed to see it for myself. She asked me to follow her in a simple exercise. She said, “I want you to close your eyes and just focus on your path.” Over the next few minutes she continued to ask, “Who is leading you? Where are you? What is happening next?”

I closed my eyes, and asked God to guide me and instantly I was in a meadow filled with white and yellow flowers and tall grass. A breeze was gently caressing my cheek and the light that surrounded me was the brightest and warmest I had ever felt. I looked down and I was on an unpaved road; it was packed down beige colored dirt with stones and pebbles, and in some areas the grass had grown high and wild covering the path. I could see no other tracks or footprints on this path.

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http://www.ryylxjw.com/heavenly-wallpapers/41004327.html – original source
When I looked up ahead of me to see who was leading me, there was a man dressed in a white robe with dark flowing hair. He turned back to make sure I was still following and gave me a radiant smile. His eyes were the color of dark, rich honey and they reflected a warmth in his soul. I immediately knew I could trust him. In fact, I felt like I had known him all my life. He travelled the path ahead of me without ever having to watch where he stepped. His sure footed-ness let me know he had travelled this path before.

He stopped every so often and reached out into the grass and each time he did a child rose. He would usher me to touch them on their head just as he did. These children began to flock around me. A sense of purpose filled my soul.

My therapist asked me to open my eyes. She then asked me to relay what I had seen. Just before I opened my eyes, the man nodded at me. He told me it was time.

I know this could have been my imagination working overtime, but what I saw that day, in that moment felt real and tangible. There are still moments I can feel the way the blades of grass brushed against my hand as I passed. I can still see the light shining down and wrapping itslef around me warming and filling my soul. The faces of those children shining up at me and the support as they fell in behind me on the path.

I believe God is leading me down the path toward sharing my gift; I believe God is always guiding me to share the messages he wants delivered through spirit. It is always Him that I ask for guidance and strength to work with both spirit and the people who ask for my assistance. It is always Him.

So, while I may not be an expert on Heaven, I feel that what spirit has shown me is coming directly from the source. What they describe is love. Heaven is love. It is unconditional, ever-growing, never-ending love. Spirit arrives to open arms and they are instantly washed over with love and warmth. It fills their soul to the brim and all fear vanishes.

Heaven is a place where each spirit is welcomed and nourished with all that they need. Everybody is in. Not one soul is left in the dark.

What I have heard in reading after reading is that while Heaven is open to all and everyone is welcome; there are privileges and jobs assigned to a soul based on their journey both here on Earth and in Heaven.

A soul may be required to complete tasks and provide assistance to other souls based on what they have experienced or neglected in this life. While another soul is open to choose and explore Heaven because of how well they lived their life here on Earth. I always get the sense that all is forgiven, but not forgotten. A soul is always required to work through unfinished business and learn valuable lessons that may have been missed or overlooked while on Earth.

I have had the opportunity to speak to hundreds of spirits and all with different ethnicity, religion whether devout or atheist, of all different sexual orientation, all different ages and genders and all of their descriptions of Heaven have the items I discussed above in common.

Jesus came to teach us how to treat one another; how to wash away sins; how not to judge one another. His message was simple; his message was love.

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Heaven is love. It is unconditional and non-discriminatory. Heaven is a place we can all look forward to. But it is also a place where we will be held accountable for how we treated others and we will be lovingly guided to heal our souls and the souls of others we may have affected.

For me, God is everywhere. God is in every church, synagogue, mosque, pew, park bench, school, creek, ocean, river, lake, home, mind, heart, every nook and cranny where there is space; God is there.

Like with anything else that truly matters, we cannot use money or material possessions to purchase our place in Heaven, we have to earn it with our words and actions. We all get a ticket, but that doesn’t mean we get to ride for free. We have to do well here. We have to pay attention here to ourselves and others. We have to lift people up and be a part of a community. God is always paying attention and while we are held accountable for our actions; we are always welcomed home.

So in answer to your question; Heaven is love and we are all welcome there. What we do there is up to us; based on how we lived our life here. We are always forgiven and always welcomed with open arms.

Until next time,

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Signs from Heaven

Do you ever hit every single red light? I am not talking just in one trip out, but continuously for a week.

Have you been out and about and swore that you saw a passed loved one only to take a second look and it was not them at all? The person didn’t even really look like them all that much, but when you saw them the first time they were a dead ringer.

Do objects in your house, like your keys, go “misplaced” even when you know you put them in specific spot?

Are you frequently changing your lightbulbs? Or do you have lightbulbs that pop?

Do you catch a whiff of a loved ones perfume, cologne, or cigarette smoke from time to time?

Are you electronics always on the fritz?

Do you ever get strong cravings for things that someone that passed loved, but you didn’t really ever like?

Do sightings of birds, insects or specific skylines catch your eye and you just know that your loved one made that appear just for you?

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Are you constantly finding specific objects like feathers, buttons, or coins?

These are all common signs from the other side. When I say they are constantly communicating with us; that is not an understatement. I have come across all kinds of signs both through readings and personally.

I have lost all four grandparents and miss them deeply. One of my grandmothers suffered with Alzheimer’s for years before she passed. She raised 6 kids and even though I only have 4, I long for her guidance all the time. For the first three years that we moved to Gilroy and I was carting around my 4 and doing school drop off I would cry once the house was quiet because I just missed her so much and would send my questions to the heavens up to her, but I did not get an answer. I know she was listening; and even answering, but my own pain caused me to miss her signs.

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I borrowed this pic Aunt Lisa – I hope that is okay, but I thought this was a perfect picture of Grandma

I have been able to open my heart more and more the last two years and with guidance from other mediums have been able to connect to my grandmother more and more. What is odd is I feel her all around me now. But it started with my unusual craving for Diet Dr. Pepper. If you know me I have never liked diet soda. I would drink anything but. Lately however, I have to have Diet Dr. Pepper. I think it is her way of telling me this little drink helped her cope day to day and it can help me, too. I am a bit of a caffeine junky.

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I am also constantly craving Doublemint gum. This was her gum of choice. She always had it. It is not my favorite gum, but I feel the need to have some on hand all the time and no other gum tastes as good as that gum. I have been fighting my weight gain and I think this is her way of saying have some gum on hand it helps.

There are so many ways that our loved ones try to come through to help us and guide us. They often literally whisper in your ear to help your intuition know the best choice for your soul. If your gut is telling you something it is wise to listen. If you feel something and can’t explain it – you just know – that usually means something.

There are many ways that signs can be discounted or explained away. That is the easy part. Believing is the hard part. Trusting in something you can’t see; believing in what you know is true even when you can’t prove it. That is what is hard for us; accepting something is real without being able to prove it. Believe anyway.

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Spirits have ways of saying hello through numbers. If you are awoken at the same time every night or constantly look at your clock every day at the same time that is your loved one saying hello. If your phone seems possessed and you even receive strange calls and no one is on the other line, your loved one has called to say hello.

Dreams are a common way our spirit loved ones connect to us. Even if the dream doesn’t always make sense and we can’t remember what is said, but everything else about the dream feels so real then you connected with them. We are so open in our sleep and they can reach us a little more easily than when we are awake.

If you aren’t seeing these signs, it doesn’t mean they aren’t there. It may mean you aren’t ready to see them yet; your pain and grief can block some of these things from sinking in. Your brain is wired to protect yourself from pain and so it creates blocks so that our emotions are safe guarded. Your loved ones are around you. You are a big part of their heaven.

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Your loved ones are just a thought away. If you think of them; they receive the call and are right there for you. Always.

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I would love to hear about the signs that you have received from loved ones and I know that sharing them will help others, too. So share in the comments or on my FB page. I can’t wait to hear your stories.

Sincerely,

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Life after death

 

Life after death…

Heaven…

These beliefs have been a part of the human experience as far back as Egyptian times. And yet there are as many non-believers as there are believers around the world. While these ideas are still shrouded in skepticism there was a recent study conducted regarding the notion of our conscious (the scientific word for our soul) and how long it lasts after death.

In an article published by the Telegraph in October of 2014 by Sarah Knapton scientists surveyed individuals who suffered cardiac arrest. 140 of these patients were surveyed after being resuscitated and they experienced conscious awareness for up to three minutes after they were presumed dead. It warranted enough scientific evidence to continue this study.

It seems my entire existence has been a study of life after death. My first experience with spirit was when I was two. A man would be in my room around bed time or even when I awoke in the middle of the night. My parents couldn’t see him, but to me he was as real as they were.

At three I began to dream about death. My first dream culminated with my lifeless six-year-old body being tossed into a mass grave as I looked on from up above. While that body was not the one my soul was currently living in; I knew it was my body just the same.

These experiences continued throughout my childhood. I would be followed, approached, and awakened by spirits my whole life. I would sense someone’s death before it happened. This was something I did not discuss. You learn early that these are not ideas and experiences people share. You learn early that you are alone in what you can see and experience.

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But I never stopped paying attention to spirit and became obsessed with ghost stories, mediums and I guess in a way death. To me I was closer to spirit than I was most people.

At fifteen I knew what spirit wanted me to do with this gift. I knew what God wanted me to do with this gift; what He had been preparing me for. I was not ready. In fact, it would be many years before I was ready to begin to deliver the messages from spirit to their loved ones.

It was nearly 7  and a half years ago that I did my very first reading. Everything about the experience changed me in many ways. The doubt and feeling that I was crazy would subside substantially. And even more so only a few months later when I saw a medium at a health fair. I sat in the chair across from him and his first words to me were, “You are a medium. You are supposed to being doing what I am doing, but on a much larger scale.”

And so my journey began. Two years ago I began to book readings with people so that I could deliver messages from spirit. Over the next few blog entries I will share some of what I have learned with you. It is what spirit wants me to do. I am being guided yet again to share more and reach more people.

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Heaven is all around us; we are a part of heaven. Spirits are around all the time; everywhere. I see them with you in the mall. I see them at their graves comforting loved ones. I see them shopping with you at the grocery store, in movie theaters, on the sidewalk, in the park, in the front yard, at church, there isn’t a place I haven’t seen a spirit. Spirit easily moves in and out of our lives on a regular basis. After over a hundred readings I can say with certainty that they tuck you in at night; they are at your weddings, parties, holiday gatherings. They gain energy from your joy and love and can literally feel your pain and sorrow.

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The ability to communicate with spirit is a gift, not one that should be taken lightly. It is something we are all capable of to varying degrees. My particular gift allows me to give spirit a voice – I speak soul if you will. I do this for them and for God. God allows me to deliver these messages. It is through Him that this is possible.

Am I still scared to share. Yes. I am still worried that people will look at these writings with closed hearts and minds. Yes. But it is spirit that is asking me to open up even more and I trust in God and in spirit that sharing these experiences will help others a great deal.

Heaven is all around us.

Life after death exists.

For me there are only more answers and hopefully for you, too.

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Rise again…

BelieveOn this Easter morning, I find it fitting to resurrect my blog from the ashes. I have been radio silent since I started my new side business. In the last 10 months I have done over 100 readings for people all over. Some readings were as far as Tennessee and New York while others were right in my own home.

Once I started down this path as a professional medium, it felt like the duct tape came out and that I needed to seal these experiences. Mostly because these aren’t my stories to share, but also partly because I was afraid of how they would be received.

There has been a recent shift and I no longer believe this to be completely accurate. My perspective of these events are mine to share and in some ways need to be shared.

Three weeks ago I had a reading done for myself. I have told you that Allison DuBois did a reading for me when I started this journey 10 months ago and I felt I needed to check in with the other side to see if there were messages for myself that I might have missed along the way.

What transpired was not entirely what I expected. If I am being completely honest, sometimes this feels like a superpower. (Plus as much as I love fairy tales, I love superheroes, too). Any way, I thought one super hero would be able to spot another super hero. This is not the case. At least not so far as I have experienced. Is it a deficiency in a mediums ability to spot another medium; maybe. But I am not entirely convinced.

Any way, it was helpful, but it also made me realize that I don’t need to check in with other mediums to find out what I need to know. I ALREADY KNOW. Mind freaking blowing, I know. We all ALREADY KNOW. We really do; down deep we know the answers to our most pressing soul-searching questions. We know. We just don’t always listen or admit we know.

So, as I turn this short story into a long one, the point is that these are also my experiences to share. Those of you that have pushed me to blog about them you were right. There is a reason that I share though writing and also have this ability to speak to other souls. It isn’t a random occurrence; instead it is exactly the combination the universe wanted.

All of my readings have been intense learning experiences for all the people involved. So I will be blogging again. Telling you my side of the experiences without divulging or revealing the anonymity of my clients. I think it will be good for me to keep a running log of these events and teachings.

I know it isn’t my job to convince the world that heaven is real; as Brene Brown says, I am not a jackass whisperer. This is just a freeing feeling for my soul. I am following my intuition and letting spirit lead as I always do. They want to share as well.

Those that have come before me have paved the path of greater acceptance and maybe by me sharing what I can along the way that will continue for those that follow me.

I am back and ready to share.

Stay tuned…

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Medium isn’t just a shirt size: I see dead people and other random musings from a modern day medium…

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“In Western culture, the ‘miracles’ referenced in scripture seem to have been relegated to the past as if to imply that they were reserved exclusively for certain historical periods.”
― Mark Ireland

I talk to the dead. Since I was two and probably before I have been visited by spirits.

People ask if there are always spirits in a room and the answer is yes. There are just as many spirits in a mall as there are live people at any given time; same with schools, post offices, houses, cars, hiking trails, the dessert.

Can you see animal spirits? Yes. I am often greeted by cats and mostly dogs when I enter someone’s home. Both living and deceased.

A lot of people ask if this has ever bothered me. Do I see it as a gift or a burden. It has never really bothered me; startled me from time to time; unnerved me occasionally and only a very few times actually scared me. I know it is a gift something other people cannot easily do, but I don’t in any way feel special; I am just a girl.

People’s reactions bother me. There anger and disbelief bother me. People tell me not to take it personally, but I do not lie, cannot lie and their outright disdain is sometimes way too much for me to handle. I do feel insulted because never, ever would I want to bring up and discuss a painful loss with another human being for my own profit or benefit. Only have I ever wanted to do this because I thought it may be helpful. Any time a reading does not go well, I want to run and hide and never ever discuss publicly with anyone what I can see. I want to crawl so deep back inside myself that no one will ever see that part of me ever again. The spirits themselves are against that; they are the ones who are constantly saying this is what I am supposed to do and this is a helpful thing, but I would say 90% of the time it doesn’t feel that way. 90% of the time I feel like a crazy person talking nonsense to complete strangers.

Another common question revolves around the spirits themselves. Are there really bad spirits? Just like with people there are good and bad with anything – the same with spirits. There are dark souls. Each soul is on a journey to grow and evolve as a being. Some have a more difficult time than others making the kinds of choices that allow them to be more enlightened. But just like Glennon Melton says, God is forever tries and all soul’s get forever tries to be enlightened souls.

What is heaven like? That is another common question. The best answer that I can give to this question is that heaven has places of pristine beauty and is definitely a place filled with a great deal more peace than Earth. Heavenly beings know no physical pain. I still sense emotional pain from souls but often with a greater understanding to that pain than we have in human form. Heaven is also just another layer in the human world; spirits are around us constantly we are very much a part of heaven.

Do spirits often come to talk with me? Yes.

Do they stop me on the street and ask me to talk to complete strangers? Yes. Spirits are as much a part of my life as the living. Spirits are everywhere in my daily life. I don’t get to pick and choose who I see, but they are there just the same.

Do I think I am crazy? Yes. I am as skeptical as the next person. I am often trying to explain things away and find concrete excuses for the types of things I know or have seen. I am often left with certain things I cannot explain. Having witnesses to these incidents is incredibly helpful because most times I will just discount it to my overactive imagination.

How many mediums are there in the world? Can everyone see spirits? I think everyone is a medium on some level and just like athletes, teachers, chefs, business people, sales people, engineers, etc. some people are just more adept at doing a particular task or occupation in life. We all have the ability to do these things; some of us are just naturally inclined and endowed with certain innate abilities to gravitate and excel at certain things over others.

So many people ask me if spirits can hear their loved ones talk to them and think about them? The answer is yes. And no they do not follow you into the shower. Spirits respect your privacy.

Many people also ask what I experience when I see a spirit. I don’t know all the fancy names of what I can do – I know there are names for each way that you experience spirit, but I am not a student of mediumship in fact I don’t even like the word medium – I would like to be a medium in size, but other than that I don’t really like that word.

But back to the real question: I can see a spirit to the point where I can describe exactly what they look like and pick them out of a picture line up. I can hear them clearly when they speak and even smell the smells they want me to experience. I can taste things and feel things they want me to taste and feel. For example, I have had spirits allow me to feel the softness of a particular blanket between my fingers or smell their favorite food cooking in the kitchen. I experience spirit’s and their energy just as I do the living many times. I have always been able to ascertain the heart or soul of a person only after spending a few minutes with them.

Do I like what I do? That is a difficult question. Some days after bringing someone who is receptive so much hope and peace about the world beyond us, yes I feel like I have done small part to make this world a better place. Days like today after a reading that went completely askew because of doubt and negative energy that clouded judgment and instead of understanding the release of tears and grief it incited anger and resentment; I want to run and hide and never ever talk to any other person about spirits ever again, but I am writing this today because I don’t think I truly have a choice in the matter any more. I truly believe that this is what I am supposed to do, good, bad or indifferent this is a part of who I am and it can no longer be ignored or stifled.

The other day I was asked if I have to go into a trance to communicate with spirit? No, there are no trances involved. I write a great deal during a reading because spirits communicate at a rapid rate. I can often write down what they are trying to communicate faster than I can repeat it. Spirits are pure energy uninhibited by a body and can move and communicate with great speed. Sometimes for them to slow down enough for me to understand them they present images of what they are trying to communicate to me and it is a bit like charades. I often see the things they saw or want me to see so that I can communicate them to their loved ones. They often also say random, nonsensical things that only later come to make more sense.

I know there are many more questions to be answered and that I will probably never be able to fully describe what it is like to have this type of experience, but I am inspired by Mother Theresa and the quote below to keep answering questions and keep trying because I believe that everything happens for a reason and that I was given this gift not only to share it with others but to also try to remove some of the stigma associated with it.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Theresa

Just doing it anyway –

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Questions and answers

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Due to some recent questions that I have received about recent posts I thought I would do a little Q & A. If you have a question that wasn’t answered here be sure to leave it in the comments section and I will most definitely get you an answer.

Question: Do you feel sad when you know it’s the last time you will see someone? Scared? Or no because they’re going to a good place and protected?

Answer: I guess I have mixed emotions. Most often I am terribly sad. I guess too, I hope that I am wrong or crazy or both. The last time this happened is when I met JLK. I had never hoped or prayed so hard to be wrong or off my rocker in my life.

The time before that was the last time I spoke to my grandfather on the phone. I was supposed to meet him for breakfast and a snowstorm had come in and I wasn’t going to be able to make it to see him. I heard his voice through the phone and knew that was the last time I was ever going to speak to him. I didn’t want to hang up and I never cried so hard getting off the phone in my whole life. Roughly a week later he had a heart attack and passed away.

What was strange is that I had visited him the day before and on some level I knew that things were off because I stayed all day as long as I possibly could. Even when he fell asleep in his chair; I just stayed and sat with him. I knew that things wouldn’t ever be the same, but I thought it had to do with my grandmother.  My grandfather and I had visited my grandmother in the nursing home (she suffered from Alzheimer’s) and I knew when I kissed her good-bye that would be the last time I would see her. For her though, I was happy that her soul would finally be free and in a better place. I was sad for all of us who would miss her, but really glad for her. I hadn’t realized until I spoke to my grandfather on the phone the next day that it would be him that would pass first.

Question: Have you ever thought about making a career out of this gift?

Answer: Yes, but the answer currently is no; it is not something I would do as a career.

Question: Are you the only one in your family that can see spirits?

Answer: No – I will leave it at that for now.

Question:  Have you ever seen a negative spirit?

Answer: Yes. I once crossed paths with a man that was killed in a motorcycle accident, and he happened to be a serial killer. He was the only spirit I ever saw rise up from the ground and be a dark almost black figure. All other spirits seem to appear from above and radiate light or be whitish in appearance.

Question: When is the first time you saw a spirit?

Answer: My mom told me I woke her up when I was two telling her there was a man in my room. I remember the first spirits at 3 and then I was 5 when I realized that I was haunted. I often feel like a lighthouse to the spirit world. They know I can sense them and often seem to seek my out as they know I will cross paths with the person they want to deliver a message to.

Question: Can you see whomever you want?

Answer: No. The spirits that I see chose to show themselves to me.

I often talk to my maternal grandmother. She had six kids and I often ask her advice or guidance and I have only ever seen her three times when I wish I could connect with her daily.

The first time was once when she was alive. That may seem odd, but I have a theory about Alzheimer’s and I think that souls of people with Alzheimer’s can actually jump back and forth between heaven and earth, but that is just a theory. Anyway, I dreamt of her the night my grandfather passed away. She was dressing him to go to heaven and told him that she would be right behind him and not to worry. The dream was so vivid. And I knew it was more than a dream because when they realized I was watching it was as if they vanished into thin air. She died about a month after he did.

The next time was when I was getting ready for work. I was pregnant with the twins and she appeared behind me in the mirror just for a second and then was gone.

The last time was in a dream where I had entered a part of heaven I wasn’t really supposed to see. My mom’s cousin who passed came to talk with me and took me to this particular group meeting place. My grandmother happened to be in the adjacent room. I believe she helps trouble souls move up the ranks in heaven ( I will explain that in my next question answer). Anyhow, I had talked with him for what seemed a while when my grandmother entered the room and without saying a word commanded me to leave. I woke up and that is the last time I have seen her.

I can smell both of my grandfathers. I know that may seem odd, but I have found that the energy of our souls can appear in all kinds of ways.

My paternal grandfather also always makes sure I see pennies on the ground. He used to always find pennies when he was living and collect them. Now I always see pennies on the ground when I most need them. I have also had him visit me on several occasions. For awhile he spent a great deal of time around me and stressed that he was worried about my health. I think he helped orchestrate my current working environment because he was worried about my mental health.

But no, I can’t call up the people I want to see. I also try not to push things; I want the spirits to come through with whatever messages they want to pass along without my interference.

Question: What is heaven like?

Answer: I have absolutely no idea. But I do feel like heaven is actually all around us. Secondly, I have a deep belief that there are levels of heaven based on the lessons that a soul has learned throughout its journey so far. I think reincarnation is also involved in this process. Why do I think there is reincarnation, well mostly because I have dreamed of my own past deaths – I only dream about how I have died – I don’t hardly dream about the life itself at all, but each death feels intensely real. I believe that I have died once becuase of a mass type illness – I was buried in a mass grave,  once to a guillotine and four times in childbirth to name a few.

Back to levels of heaven; I think our soul is on its own journey and as it grows and learns it moves to different levels within heaven continuing to grow and learn. For example, I think angels are souls that have learned all that they can learn and are using that knowledge to guide other souls.

– If you have more questions let me know. I am happy to answer them. All of what I know though is based on my experience. I used to read a great deal on the subject, but now I feel that it taints my own experiences so I don’t read about it very much any more. I also have no clue how any of it works and am far, far from an authority on the subject, but I am happy to share my experiences and opinions with you all.

Warm Regards,

M