On the first day of March in 2015, I met with Peter* (Names have been changed to protect the identity of my client). I know Peter’s sister, and she arranged the session for him. I knew some things about him beforehand, but none of that prepared me for what was to come in that session.
I had only been seeing clients for just under a year, and I was still shaky. I met Peter at his home, and as we started the session, I just kept trying to keep my nerves in check. Men tend to be more skeptical, and for some reason, I feel like I am under a magnifying glass of introspection in a session with someone skeptical. I am better now. In the beginning, it was beyond hard to deliver the messages with my unsteady voice and worried mind.
The session began, relatively flawless. Peter and I spoke with a soul from heaven who Peter knew through the war. Peter is a soldier. He had spent several years in the Middle East in combat. His translator, who had passed, came through to speak to Peter and offer him comfort. His translator’s objective was to try to ease any guilt, Peter might have had about his passing.
What happened next, shook me in a way I will never find the right words to explain. I froze. The soul that had entered the room resembled the statue that hung from a cross at St. Olaf’s where I went to church with my grandmother. I was terrified and awed all at the same time. How could this be, kept running through my mind as I tried to hold my composure.
Some sort of sacrilege must be occurring; was all I could think. How could I say I was seeing someone who looked and sounded like Jesus? How was that possible? Only priests have a direct connection to God, right? How was Jesus standing there? How could I tell Peter this is who wanted to speak to him? Starting with, “I know this sounds crazy, but…” seemed like a massive understatement. I still don’t remember how I initiated that introduction. I think I said, “I think this is Jesus that wants to speak to you. I know I already sound crazy because I say I can talk to ghosts and I am probably hallucinating, but I can’t explain who else this could be. He looks just like him.”
What surprised me the most is that Peter was open and willing to believe that Jesus was in the room with us. He told me to, “Go for it” and just tell him what this spirit had to say. I was seeing it and still in utter awe and disbelief.
The soul who looked like Jesus started to tell me what to say and out of sheer obedience to my faith I just spoke his words. He told Peter that Peter could go back to the front lines of the war if he really wanted, he would not be stopped. The spirit continued to say with such force I was afraid myself, that Peter’s life belonged to Him and that if Peter went back to the front lines that Peter was coming home and not in a box, but he would live and he would not be happy about his condition. This soul told Peter how vital his life here on Earth was, and that he had good work left to do. This spirit that resembled Jesus commiserated that life was hard and that trials are challenging, but that Peter was to stay here and do the work required of him. Jesus and God were the only ones who could determine when Peter joined them in heaven, no matter what Peter thought. I am sure I am summarizing this, but this is what I remember most.
It took me a second to regroup. Peter noticed and patiently waited.
“Did all that make sense?” I asked him. Still stuck in a surreal sense of denial.
“Yes,” Peter said, “I want to go back to fight, and I want to be on the front lines because I don’t think I can live like this any longer. It is so hard to be here.”
I was dumbfounded. What do you say at that moment? I am not even sure what I said or if the soul resembling Jesus spoke again. I know that Peter and I spoke a great deal and our session was more prolonged than per usual. I know I left hoping that, that soul and the messages shared had helped heal Peter’s heart somehow.
Believe me, I know this story is a leap. Who knows what will happen to me once this is in cyberspace. What I do know is this, the theme of this session and the story is supposed to be shared. Could I just make Jesus show up – no, that isn’t how this works. Do I claim to have a direct connection, no. I pray just like anyone else and hope my words move from my lips to God’s ears. I am not someone special, I just witnessed something miraculous. And that miracle is this; God is in us. God is with us. We belong to Him. No matter our trials or our defeats; whatever life hands us; He is there. Bearing witness; holding us and our pain and celebrating when we are victorious. We are never alone. We are never forsaken. And the story of our hearts and our prayers are always heard. And they are answered or unanswered for His divine purpose; which is for our best good, no matter what we believe.
And if I am keeping it real and sharing what else I think matters from this session, it is this:
Why wouldn’t Jesus show up? He died for our sins. He gave his life so that we could have eternal life. He loved children, the elderly, sick, destitute, and everyone in between. He wasn’t afraid to talk to anyone, even if society deemed them unfit somehow. In fact, I believe from what I have read in the Bible, and what I know of Jesus that those who were lost, wayward, cast out, forgotten, they were his favorite. The more human you were, the more he loved you and loved on you. Why wouldn’t he show up for each and every one of us? Why is it so hard for some of us to believe that he is right here with us? Peter didn’t have a single problem accepting Jesus was in that room. Not for a minute. And after years of thinking back on this moment; I can’t see why he wouldn’t have shown up for Peter. I don’t believe that Jesus would ever turn his back on anyone. He loved even the one person who betrayed him.
So I think what we need to remember is how much we are loved. How much God and Jesus or whatever deity you pray to is watching over each of us. Loving us and guiding us. We are all connected to one another and to the greater good. So whether you believe this or not; isn’t the purpose. What I hope you walk away from when you read this is that you are worthy. Jesus would show up for you in a heartbeat, without a second thought. He doesn’t need you to believe he would. He just shows up.
I am afraid to put this story out there, have been hesitant to tell it for years. And you know what? Jesus was frightened when he was here, but he did what was right anyway. He did what he was asked anyway. It isn’t up to me to keep this to myself and not share it with the world where it might do someone else some good. I can handle scorn, disbelief, sideways glances, and even those that pray for my soul thinking that my sharing this puts me in harm’s way. God loves me. Jesus thinks I am pretty awesome. And in the end, that is what matters to me above all else.
I hope you know how much you are loved by this universe. How precious and perfect you are. How everything came together over millions of years to create precisely you. That you and just being you is your sole purpose on this planet. There is no one else like you. That is all you have to be. And it is more than enough.
Until next time,