The weather here in California is not getting with the program that it is October. It has been hot and humid with very few cool days. We need rain out here and I know there are parts of the world where things are much worse, but I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t complain a itty bit. As the year draws to its last quarter, I think my reflecting on what I have learned is becoming more blunt and matter of fact. Hopefully my hard-earned wisdom with help you find the same knowledge without as much work.
It is more than okay to say, “No.”
A few weeks ago I planned a playdate for a Friday afternoon evening, where my mom friends and their kids could stop by and hang for a bit. I promised pizza and drinks. Well my week quickly went from okay to crazy. My grandmother had a major stroke, the kids were giving me major run around on every teenie tiny thing, a few extra work projects fell into my lap and I finally decided it was all too much and cancelled the get together. I just knew if I attempted to pull it off I would stress and be over exhausted and bad company. What I found from this was the amazing group of friends I am blessed with. Almost each one of the women I invited praised me for cancelling. They totally understood. One of my dear friends dropped off flowers. All of them offered help and I sat back in awe and wonder of these fabulous friends. I am so blessed that these people are in my life. I know how great they all are, but by saying no and being honest with them that I couldn’t do it all I was able to see this side of them as well and I am so glad that I did. Of course, one said she would come TP my house and yes that made me love her even more.
If you are like me and need to hear that having a meltdown even as an adult is okay…then it is okay; really it is.
Do you find yourself trying so hard not to lose your mind at the child that questions your every ask? Do you find yourself trying to stay calm as you wait for your child to find their shoe when you needed to leave for soccer 5 minutes ago? Are you constantly stepping on Legos that were supposed to be cleaned up 20 minutes ago? Do you find yourself breathing deeply while you listen to your children bicker and argue about who DID NOT spill the milk all over the kitchen and not tell anyone? Do you ever have to plunge an over-clogged toilet that some sweet child used even though it was already clogged and pray to the God’s of human waste to please not let anything spill over the edges only to have your prayers go unanswered? I can empathize. Sometimes all of this happens in one day and when your children start to argue in the car you lose your mind and snap at them all only to feel terrible 10 minutes later and have to apologize for yelling, but not for being fed up with their behavior. Yep, that’s an average day of parenting and you should cut yourself some slack because we can’t all be Mary Poppins or Florence Henderson – our days don’t fade to black and magically have help. Our days run together and we make it by flying by the ever-loving seat of our very own pants. So don’t feel bad if you lose your shit; it happens, it passes and then maybe two weeks later it happens again, but it will all pass and mostly your kids will remember the good times. Mostly.
Then there are moments like these:
Give back to the community as a family.
This past September and October we fluttered; which is an awareness and fundraising campaign for a non-profit group Unravel that raises money for pediatric cancer research. They also give money to families with children who are battling cancer. We created some great memories out there, but also along the way learned about bravery, empathy, kindness, and hardship. It is such a wonderful opportunity to help and learn all at the same time. So pick your cause and then fight it together as a family.
Being scared is human and also more than okay.
I am over-weight. I struggle with that a great deal. It would seem that it would be an easy fix, but so far it has not been for me. I am often afraid that people think I am lazy, undisciplined, and gross all because I can’t get a handle on my weight. Lately, I don’t even want to go out in public because of how I look. I know my life being crazy is an excuse, but still it has been hard to squeeze the “me time” I need into my days.
My best friend is coming to see me and I am terrified that she will no longer be my friend once she sees me. Totally illogical and off-base thinking, but it hasn’t stopped me from actually thinking it. But instead of brandishing myself for my fear; I am embracing it. It is okay to be afraid. I need to move past this fear because the most important thing is showing up and being seen.
Sometimes those damn Facebook quizzes have too much truth in them for a Friday night or any day of the week really.
So I know you take these because I have seen you post the results from time to time. Those FB quizzes; they suck us in because really sometimes we want to know who our Hollywood boyfriend might be, or what our name really means. So I took the name one and it was great, but it also said I was moody. And right away I was like you stupid FB quiz what do you know…you don’t know me. And then I took breath and was like damn you; how did you know that. I am moody, but I did not need my iPhone to tell me that. Sometimes it’s better knowing and being in a blissful denial than reading in black and white and I right or am I right?
Before I sign off I just want to take a moment and say thank you! Thank you for reading my blog. I have a great audience of friends, family, and internet friends that join here to read and support what I write and I am beyond grateful.
Until next time,